Faith to move mountains

Three years ago, our daughter came to live with us from foster care. Seven months later we officially adopted her and we have been on a fabulous roller coaster ride ever since. I like roller coasters! Some find them scary but I enjoy the thrill and excitement. Sometimes, if it's a really "intense" one, I get nervous before I get on but that's part of the excitement for me...facing and overcoming the challenge/fear.

Our daughter just graduated from high school a few weeks ago and I have been thinking a LOT about what an amazing accomplishment this is! For her, she probably always knew that graduation was in her future. We knew it was in her future too but we weren't sure that SHE knew it was in her future. For several months she had pretty bad "senior-itis" and was tardy to school, not doing work, failing tests from not studying, not turning in major assignments, etc. I personally was a little worried that she was not going to push through, and would miss passing by only a few points. I asked some friends to encourage her and it actually made her MAD. They sent her cards and she threw them in the trash! Her reasoning was because it was "annoying" that they all used the same verse in Hebrews 12 that talks about "running the race with perseverance" when in reality it was because she thought we had doubts in her ability. I had always thought that she COULD do it, but I wasn't sure how strong her self doubt was and whether the gaps in her education had effected her self confidence. To me, there was a difference in CAN she do it and WILL she do it...basically verb semantics. But in the end she made it happen and we are SOOOOOO super duper proud of her!!!

All this got me thinking...I want to start up my blog again so I can write about some of these thoughts and challenges. I had decided to stop posting even as I have done my own devotionals, simply because of feeling the need/priority to focus on my family and new daughter, and wanted to eliminate anything in my life that took extra time and wasn't "essential". Now that things have slowed down a little, I'm going to return to share my SOAP devotionals, as well as various thoughts on what is going on in the world from a biblical point of view. My hope is that my writing will not only help me to continue to grow closer to God but that it will also be a blessing to someone else. This week I am sharing a devotional I actually wrote a month before we met our daughter. I was reading past writings and this seemed perfect for the "roller coaster" ride we have been on. It is amazing that this entry is on having faith to move mountains and I have seen very clearly how God has been at work in our lives for the last 3 years simply because we have tried continually to put our faith in HIM.

S - The scripture is from Matthew 21:21-22 (Holman Christian Standard Version - also known as the "Apologetics Study Bible")
²¹ Jesus answered them, “I assure you: If you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you tell this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ it will be done. ²² And if you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

O - Jesus says, "I assure you." He doesn't say "its a good idea" or "it will probably happen" or "I'll think about it." ASSURE is a strong word like a promise, or a guarantee. But Jesus is not asking the disciples, or us, to go around moving mountains, perform "magic" and impress people. He is making a point about our faith. Nor is He saying that we will get anything we want in prayer. He is asking us to have faith to do bold things in His name, things that may appear to be "mountains" in our lives.

A - Do I have faith to move the "mountains" in my life? Those obstacles that appear to be in the way of doing God's work, the work He is calling me to do. Do I ask God boldly and believe that He will move these mountains and make happen what needs to happen. I believe I often do have this kind of faith...more often in praying for others. I think I struggle with this for things in my personal life, doubting whether I am praying for real intentions or within God's will.

P - I thank you God that you have given me the gift of a strong faith to inspire others that need to believe you will move mountains. Remind me to have this same faith when it comes to matters of a personal nature. I sometimes have doubts because I wonder if I am praying selfishly or within your will. Remove the voice of the enemy that seeks to discourage my faith. May you keep him far from me. Will you use me to move mountains in your kingdom, for your glory?

Love and PRAY for your enemies

It's been over a month since my last entry. In case you hadn't read it, I have decided to cut back on blogging in order to make my own devotional time, as well as family commitments, the first priority. I do plan to share some thoughts periodically and so today I really wanted to share what God has been teaching me about loving my enemies.

S - Matthew 5:43-48
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[i] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

I have been feeling some persecution lately. I am facing some challenges in my job as a teacher and I often feel unappreciated and persecuted. Also, I face ongoing struggles (along with my husband) as we go through the process of adopting our daughter and helping her fit into our family. There is not only a lot that she has to learn coming into our family later in life as a teen, but also to overcome the obstacles that ANY teenager would face. There are always the challenges of giving enough time to your family and with busy kids, there is a lot of driving and running from here to there. It is VERY easy to feel unappreciated and persecuted at home.

In addition, last Monday, I had a little fender bender. It was like the icing on an already thick "martyr cake"...just something else to add to my pity party. It was early in the morning and I had just dropped my son off at school when a man, Bernie, pulled out in front of me without much warning and I didn't have enough time to stop. It scraped up both our cars pretty good. Well, interestingly he had insurance but had a suspended license and ended up getting arrested. Initially after the accident happened, I wanted to be mad at the inconvenience. I was annoyed that this guy, although very compliant and apologetic, seemed kind of "lackadaisical" about the incident and going to jail, almost like he was just accepting of his bad lot in life. While we were waiting for the police to arrive, he revealed that he was probably going to get arrested because he has been in and out of shelters, that he doesn't have a valid license, that he is trying to get his life together, that he's on disability and doesn't have the money to pay for the fees to renew his license, that he shouldn't have been going to get cigarettes, nor should he have been driving, etc. He was going on and on with this sob story and honestly I'm thinking, "GREAT! God, why did it have to be this guy! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! Now I have to feel sorry for him, I'm probably going to have to claim this on my own insurance AND it's going to cost me more money, just because this guy doesn't have his life together AND he went out to get cigarettes! Are you kidding me???? I don't have any more compassion to give!" And yet I'm also feeling sorry for the guy thinking, "God wants me to be compassionate and supportive and be HIS hands and feet. I need to show Bernie that God is still watching out for him and hasn't forgotten him." So even though I didn't want to, I was nice, understanding and compassionate...I listened to his sob story attentively. I tried to be a friend with my words and actions. I told the officer that he was compliant and polite, even though he said it didn't matter. I knew that was how God would have wanted me to handle it. I told Bernie when I left that I would be praying for him. I probably should have even given Bernie money, if I'd had any on me to give...that would have been even more generous. Yes, I was a little proud of myself and left gloating, just a little.

I later got mad at Bernie again, realizing that it was going to cost me a few massage therapy visits for my neck and back, as well as a $250 deductible to get my car repaired with uninsured motorist. And then I thought of this verse in Matthew. A lot of things went wrong the day I had the accident and it felt like I was surrounded by enemies. I decided to stop and pray for Bernie simply because God's word says I should and I wanted it to bring me peace in EVERY area of my life. I thought, "you know, maybe if I pray for him, he will one day be able to pay it forward." So I did. I prayed that Bernie would be blessed and that he would have the means to either repay my expenses, even though they were small, or perhaps get his life together and do something great for someone else. I decided in my heart that I wanted GOOD things for Bernie. I prayed sincerely for Bernie to KNOW God and His blessings.

And what do you know! I'm not saying that God always sends monetary blessings when you pray for your enemies, but the NEXT DAY, after I had already been dealing with my own insurance company, Bernie's insurance company called me and claimed full liability. They said that there was no need to wait for the police report because Bernie had confessed to wrong doing AND they were not only paying for my car repairs and rental, but were giving me additional compensation for massage therapy and for my "trouble". (side note: my husband says this is "hush" money so I won't sue but I still believe in God's provision any way He can!) I am so thankful that it was not a serious accident and if anything, I got the privilege to pray for Bernie. I don't know what he's up to 2 weeks after this has happened, but I believe that God is blessing him in some way. He could have lied. He could have argued and caused trouble. He could have driven away. He could have done lots of things that would have made this situation difficult, but he didn't. He was cooperative and claimed responsibility. I prayed for blessings for Bernie. I don't want a pat on the back for that but I am really excited that I did what God asked of me and He came back with blessings TRIPLE fold. It was enough money to buy my daughter a special custom doll and pay for a trip to get it from a store 4 hours away, that we didn't really have the money for. This was a BONUS I was able to provide as an added blessing for her, simply because God allowed me the means to do it.

What I saw as inconvenient and a literal pain in my neck, became a way for me to bless my daughter and THAT is why we pray for our enemies. Praying for Bernie reminded me that my little pity party, as stressful as it may genuinely be, is NOTHING at the hand of God. God can turn something around from bad to good with one breath, with one finger, or with a spoken word. God wants to bless all of us and He wants us to rely on Him for ALL things! God wants ALL of us to return to his protection and circle of fellowship. There are those that need us to pray for them, for if we do not stand in the gap to draw them to the Lord, who will?

It also says in 2 Corinthians 4:3-4
3 And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

If we are not praying for the lost then they will continue to remain blinded by the enemies schemes...they cannot see who God really is unless we pray for the veil of unbelief to be lifted. This includes those that believe and perhaps have not seen God at work in their life because they just need a hand up to get on the right track. Knock and the door will be opened. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. Do we believe this and let it be known, or do we wallow in our self-pity?

If you're reading Bernie, God is faithful. He will never leave you or forsake you. And you have a friend. Thank you for YOUR faithfulness to God Bernie in taking responsibility for your actions and I KNOW God is going to reward you for it.

Precious Prayers

My SOAP devotional for 9/14

S - Revelation 5:8
"And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints."

O - It seems significant that the container that holds the "prayers of the saints" is gold, and the prayers themselves are described as incense. When you think of gold you think valuable, expensive, and precious. Incense is used for aroma, to create a soothing mood and a pleasant smell.

A - Our prayers are valuable to God, for He keeps them in gold bowls. He doesn't just discard them after He hears them. He does not forget our most urgent pleadings. In addition, we know the presence of the prayers are pleasing to the senses because they are compared to the aroma of incense. Therefore, we should pray without ceasing, even when we feel like giving up, for God wants to hear from us and answers our prayers at the right time.

P - God, may I always be reminded that when I pray, you hear me. Thank you that my prayers are precious, which reminds me that I am valuable to you. Amen.

A leader trusts in the Lord

This is my SOAP devotional for 4/15 - I find it ironic that I would read this on "tax day" when many were protesting the actions of the govt. with "tea parties". I too may not agree with the choices of govt. but it is important to remember that all leaders need our prayers more than anything else we do.

S - Psalm 21:7
For the king trusts in the LORD;
through the unfailing love of the Most High
he will not be shaken.

O - Even kings who have great power to determine the actions of their subjects on this earth should trust in the Lord. Just as we read about Pilate giving in to the demands of the people, a good leader seeks God's wisdom instead of popularity, or power. God pours out His love on those that seek Him, and He keeps them from stumbling. In fact, the Lord's love is great for ALL...most especially those that put aside their personal desires and seek His guidance.

A - In a leadership role (parent, music teacher, community leader, bible teacher, etc.) I must be seeking God's wisdom in ALL things, even when I feel confident and secure in my decision making. Even when decisions seem "biblically obvious". God only allows those that He wants in power to remain in power. Therefore, I must be in prayer for ALL leaders in business, in politics, in our schools, in our communities...all of these need our prayers to seek God's wisdom, regardless of whether we agree with their decisions.

P - Lord, you promise that when I seek you with my whole heart, you are there. Just as I already prayed that I would not be subject to pressure from others, will you help me be the leader that YOU desire me to be, taking a stand to embrace YOUR standards, even when it's hard? Will you help me remember to be in prayer for all leaders in my community and in government, even when I believe they are not seeking YOUR wisdom? May I be patient to know that YOU have placed them in leadership for a reason. Your ways and wisdom, and your unfailing love are ALWAYS good. Just like the song says, "How many kings would come down from their throne to die for me?" You alone did that for me and for ALL of us! Oh, that I would be humble to remember your sacrifice and live my life with this same humility. Amen.

You are God alone

Here is my 2nd post for this week. Be sure to read the other one posted today, FIRST.
This is my SOAP devotional for Feb. 26th.

S - Exodus 20:3-6
" 3 "You shall have no other gods before me.

4 "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments."

O - There is a lot to talk about here. God asks us to make Him the ONLY God in our life and in our hearts. Some would say that's easy but in reality there are many things that we make into a "god" because it is a priority, but we don't define it as a god. He uses the word "jealous" to describe how He feels towards us and relationship. Why is it jealousy? Because God knows us and created us, and we cannot divide our hearts and be faithful to more than one God. It isn't humanly possible to give our devotion to multiple things. God has a passionate desire to be intimate with us and help us experience true joy in a life committed to Him, therefore He is "jealous" for what we could have and what is possible when we don't choose to make HIM first. This jealousy cannot be defined as it is in human terms, stemming from envy or greed or insecurity. All the more reason why we must read ALL of God's word to understand the context of His character. His jealousy is one that stems from a desire to love us and give us His best. Because of His good nature, He cannot tolerate what is the complete opposite of who He is and therefore it grieves Him to be separated from us...this is where the "jealousy" comes from.

A - I remember an interview where Oprah said that this is something from the bible that bothered her greatly as a child...she did not understand how a loving God could be jealous and therefore, she had spent her whole life trying to understand "who God is". She has since proceeded to try to define God for millions and generated more confusion in the process. The Bible is clear if we read it as a whole. I am to put God first EVERY day ahead of my husband, my children, my worries, my family and friends, my personal aspiration and even my "ministry." Time and devotion to HIM should be my first priority. WHY? For when I put Him first I will experience true joy and be blessed in all my relationships. God's jealousy for me is a blessing because He wants me all to Himself. He does not want the enemy to take a hold of me and thereby being separated from me forever. His love for me is so great that He can't imagine losing me...He would do anything to have me with Him forever. Because He is eternal and transcends time, my only time with Him is in the spiritual realm and therefore, how else would I be in intimate relationship with Him other than prayer and studying His word. Putting time with Him first in my life allows Him to work in and through my life to bless me and many others.

P - You are God alone. I worship you with my daily choices to seek your will and walk in your ways. I know I will stumble and so I ask that you pick me up and remind me who I belong to and who I serve. I am THANKFUL that you are jealous enough for me that you do not want to let the enemy have me and you even sacrificed your son to save me. You are the Lord Almighty!! Amen.

Mission Impossible Faith

My SOAP devotional for Jan. 26th

S - Genesis 24:10-14, 26-27
"Then the servant took ten of his master's (Abraham's)camels and left, taking with him all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water. Then he prayed, 'O LORD, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a girl, 'Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I'll water your camels too'-let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master."

"Then the man bowed down and worshiped the LORD, saying, 'Praise be to the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the LORD has led me on the journey to the house of my master's relatives."

O - The servant that goes out to find a wife for Isaac is a strong believer. The servant was in some respects not living in Abraham's household by his own will, because he is a servant, but yet he embraces fully his God. He has so much faith in fact that he believes that God will prompt the RIGHT girl that will say exactly the RIGHT thing, and also happen to be one of Abraham's relatives. This is what he sees as success. He is giving God a tall order and we see the miracle, by my definition, that God delivers exactly what he asks for. In addition, the servant gives God the credit and praise for his provision. Later in this passage, Rebekah is happy to go with this stranger because she too is perhaps inspired by the faith of this servant and sees how God is at work in her life as well.

A - This passage reminds me of the Tom Cruise Mission:Impossible movies when the bad guy says "go to this certain street corner and ask the man on the bench for a stick of gum" and then it happens to be exactly the RIGHT guy who wisks him away to meet this secret person. I always thought it wouldn't be a very good movie if it ended up being the wrong guy and he actually hands him a stick of gum. Tom Cruise would be left standing there blowing bubbles. Actually, that would probably be the Ben Stiller version.

I think this is an interesting passage because we have to be careful not to be selfish in our requests of God. When we ask for too many specifics we are perhaps trying to put God in a box...please do this, but only if this happens. On the other hand, I think that it is important that I make specific requests of God and ask Him to give me a clear sign when He is working in my life, just as Abraham's servant did. It is important to know who's voice you're listening to...even the enemy knows my desires and offers good things. All too often however I am afraid to make requests that are not in line with God's plan so I don't make them, or I make requests that are attached to a selfish agenda, and I am disappointed when I don't get the answer I want or the answer doesn't come at the right time. I must do both...ask and believe, with an attitude of acceptance in His provision. We can only find true peace in God's plan when we believe in the power that we are asking for and trust Him to work in our best interest, down to the small details like providing gum from some guy on a park bench. Sometimes our requests might seem like "mission impossible" but that is only because our sight is limited. God sees all things and I can find satisfaction in knowing that the plan He has laid out for my life is the BEST plan, regardless of whether it's what I've requested or not. I think the key is trust. Do I trust God enough to be bold in my request and then hand it over to Him to work it out?

P - I do believe Lord that I have a strong faith. I believe your promises and that you have my best interest at heart. At times though, God, I have in my heart requests that seem too detailed and too "impossible". I should not be afraid to ask you, nor should I doubt that you would grant these requests if they are in line with your word and your will for my life. I pray Lord that I am always seeking your voice and that you would give me clear signs that you are speaking and moving in my life so that I can give you the credit and all the glory. At the same time, may I always accept with grace when your answer is no. Amen.

Licensed...and waiting!

Hallelujah! We are finally, OFFICIALLY licensed for foster/adoption in the state of Texas through the Department of Family Protective Services. WHOOHOOO! Now we wait...

Have you ever heard the saying, "Don't pray for patience because God will give you something to be patient about."? Well, this is exactly where we are right now...we are praying for patience. We KNOW that God sees the faces of the little ones that will join our family...we are waiting for His perfect timing, whether it be next week, 3 months or a year from now. We are just SOOOO excited to begin this next journey...we feel we are ready, prepared, and eager to get started and love whomever is out there, needing us.

In the mean time, it was quite humorous how Gregory, our adoption coordinator, tried to get us to take 5 little girls at our meeting yesterday! He told us, "you won't have to pay taxes for like the next 5 years if you take them, plus you'll get like a $2000 monthly supplement! They are the BEST kids and really deserve to be placed together, and you could have them like this week!" My heart was yanked out of my chest thinking about them, BUT we were thinking ABSOLUTELY NOT...there is NO WAY we could even fit 5 more kids in our van, or the bedrooms, or imagine the grocery bill?? How would we all go to the movies or out to eat? We'd even have to take turns eating! We'd be like "Tom and Shelley + Seven!" (doesn't quite have the same zing to it...)

It got me thinking though...even as we're thinking there is NO way we could take those girls, there is a family out there for them somewhere. Yes, I believe that we should be open to what God wants but MAN, I just can't imagine that He would call us to taking in FIVE! GOD KNOWS who they belong to and is just going to be working on someone's heart to take them. I asked Gregory for their names so that I can be praying for them, standing in the gap for them to have a family that loves them. He's going to email me with their info, but until then, will you join me in praying for ALL the children out there that don't have a family yet?

So I am trying to get some writing done this summer...my goal is to get something finished by Christmas. It actually is hard while everyone is home but I am setting aside time to work each day. I'm just trying to be open to God's prompting...I still may find the right job to help me transition from the public school to the church, but we will see.

Tom and I are celebrating 18 years of marriage this week and so it is amazing that we got licensed on our anniversary because we are finding strength in our commitment to each other to add to our family. We are amazed at how time flies when you're having fun...and we plan on having some more fun with our new kid(s)...and many years after they're gone too! We'll keep you posted!