Today I want to share our family story. This is a story of adoption, renewal, finding our IDENTITY and the ultimate Daddy! Grab a cup of jo and hold on for a wild ride!
Our daughter A joined our family three years ago, two weeks shy of her 15th birthday. It's been a big, roller coaster transition for our family. And it's been amazingly wonderful!
First of all, our oldest biological son is no longer the oldest. They are only actually 9 months apart in age and one year in school. These two have had the biggest hurdles to overcome in the family but I have to say I am busting with pride for how much they have both grown as individuals and in their sibling relationship. I couldn't have predicted they would have the bond they have...they actually act like brother and sister! Second, the boys had never had a sister boss them around before, nor had they ever had a girl in the house besides their mom (that brings a whole new set of hormones!), NOR had they been much into pop music, the Disney Channel, or Justin Bieber...that right there will change everything! Now that she's 18, it's not quite as bad although there is still a lot of "pop culture" flying around...except when she tries to make us think she's a "thug" :)
Our girl had a rough start in life...The second of 4 siblings with an alcoholic, neglectful, and often abusive mother, and absent father. The parents were teens when they had their children and did not have the support system to care for these kids, but they didn't seek help either. The kids were basically left to fend for themselves and A was the "momma". The oldest sister was off who knows where most of the time while A cared for her two younger brothers. She was molested and witnessed horrendous actions by her mother during this time. She was forced to grow up and have responsibility too soon. She endured more than anyone should have to in their lifetime before the age of 7. Just before her 8th birthday (2003), the state was alerted to their situation and took over caring for the kids. They tried to place them with Dad, which didn't work since he had never been in the picture much and had a new girlfriend who did not want the kids. They moved to several foster homes and mom lost her rights after a year of only half-way trying to get them back. Eventually the kids were too much to handle in one foster home and were split up.
That is where we come into the story. In June of 2009 we got licensed through Arrow Family Ministries (partnering with CPS) to "foster to adopt". We had originally requested a girl or two between the ages of 5-8...in school, but not older at the time than our youngest. We thought we were so awesome that unlike the MANY other families interested in adoption, we did NOT want a baby or toddler, but didn't want to mess with "birth order". We were really patting ourselves on the back with that one! We had ZERO interest in adopting a teenager and wouldn't you know it, God would change our mind!
One of our foster parent classes began with our case worker asking all of us to consider adopting an older child. "Just pray about it", he said. We all were like "no way" :) And then Tom and I went home and within a few days I found myself looking at these kids online and thinking that I just needed to pray for them. One night, I found myself reading the description on one girl and realized that her birthday was the very next day! She was going to be 18 and I just started crying! Tom thought I had lost it. I exclaimed with great sadness, "Who is going to walk her down the aisle when she gets married? Who is going to help her when she has her first child? Who will she get to be with at Christmas?" The Holy Spirit convicted me and broke my heart that night. It grieved me to know that there are 1000s of teens in Texas alone that are waiting for adoption and when they age out, they will not have a family or any support system. I just couldn't stand it. It took Tom a little longer to come around but soon we both agreed that God was calling us specifically to adopt a teen girl...we just hadn't been willing to open our hearts to it before. We admitted that we were afraid, but wanted to be obedient to what we felt like we MUST do. We told our caseworker that we were switching our search to teenaged girls.
Now here's where it really gets good! In Aug of 2009 we still had not found the right girl for us after two months of searching. You'd think that out of 3000 kids we could find ONE. We were frustrated, and yet we knew that God had the perfect girl in mind for our family. One of our main concerns was the "street smarts" and influence that our boys would be subjected to with adopting a teen that had faced unimaginable challenges. We weren't ready to explain the horrors of the world to them, but we knew that God would take care of them and guide our discussion on important issues. This was one reason that we had to say no to a couple of girls who we felt were not the ones that God had in mind for our family. Meanwhile, A had had 2 failed adoptions and was trying to get her uncle to adopt her so she had been out of the state-wide online system for a little bit. None of those situations had panned out and so she remained in a foster home with a loving, single mom while her youngest brother was adopted, her older sister was a run away, and her next youngest brother was struggling in a group home.
Patiently we spent several nights a week looking at pictures and case worker descriptions of teens from all over Texas. Tom actually came upon the picture of our daughter first one night and asked me to read her case info. I was immediately drawn to her smile, which Tom says is also what drew him to her. There was joy in her eyes. I read her info and was concerned. She had stated in her desire for a "family" that she wanted a single mom and we were not a single mom family (kids over 11 are allowed to approve or disapprove of their adoption family). I remember telling Tom that I didn't think we should even consider her if she doesn't want to be open to having a Dad in her life and he said that it made him want her MORE! I'll never forget it. My heart was so full of love for my husband in that moment because he is such a good Daddy! He said that she didn't really know how good a Daddy could be and he wanted to be the one to show her. Wow! The tears fell again...
So we submitted a request for more info to our case worker, He requested, CPS had some conference calls about us, we got more info, more paperwork, more conference calls and then the call came the first week of October that we had been selected to be A's family! Oh happy day...we thought. They said it would be 6 weeks to get her file, which we had to read completely before we could move forward. Sad face. Oh but wait, it wasn't 6 weeks! It was 4 MONTHS!!! Ugh! What are these people doing anyway??? Handling thousands of kids or something??? HA! :) So finally it came...the FIVE large envelopes with about 2500 pieces of paper for us to read completely. That was our weekend.
After another 2 months, LOTS of praying, more conference calls, MORE praying, more reading, more calls, more paperwork...we finally got to set a date for our trip to meet A in another city. So with anticipation, we had my family keep the boys for the weekend and we went to meet our daughter! Two weeks later she moved in with us. And 7 months later we finalized adoption! It wasn't that smooth and easy of course but God was there throughout the process and we knew we had made the right decision.
Our daughter has gone through incredible personal struggle, and still does, to figure out her identity within our family, and all her relationships. And yet through it all she has managed to see how God has helped her begin to see how she can use her story in a positive way, and accept her identity in our family. "Identity" is a key word here because I think it would be hard to find your identity when you've had so much inconsistency in your life and so many people let you down, as A has experienced. She does not look like us, although many have said she is just a "latina" version of me :) I'll take that as a complement! She has many interests and experiences that are different from ours. She spent her childhood experiencing a much more "urban" way of life and now finds herself in suburbia. We have family traditions and inside jokes, and memories that she does not share. It would be easy for her to NOT identify herself with us. And yet even with all that, we love each other and embrace each others differences. We are a family. She is a part of us and we are a part of her. We are creating NEW traditions and NEW memories and the coolest part of our family story is that we CHOSE each other. Not many families can say that. There are days I want to kick a few people in this family to the moon, and I'm sure they feel that way about me sometimes. But all in all, the blessings outweigh the negative because we know who we belong to.
In reality, that is the "glue" that holds all of us together...our identity is in Christ. We know who we ALL belong to and we can look to the Lord to affirm the TRUTH about who we are, not what the world or the "enemy" says we are. A has come to know God in a real ,profound and marvelous way as her "daddy". She believes that He pulled her out of her situation and saved her. She has accepted Jesus as her personal savior and Lord of her life. When asked, she has the view that she does NOT wish her life had been different because God is EMPOWERING HER to share her story and inspire others. She is making a difference and she gives God the credit! He has provided for her all she has needed and He has cared and loved her. Her biological sister has had the same opportunities but has chosen to run away, be independent and go her own way...she is running away from God even while He pursues her. The difference is that God would have done the same for her sister but she is not yet open to receive it...God "adopted" our daughter through her faith in Christ. This is her true identity.
So I ask...Who's YOUR Daddy? You might have an awesome human Daddy that loves and supports you...maybe he's your biggest fan, stands by your side through thick and thin and has taught you much. And there are many that do not. It seems amazing to me that you see on some of these talk shows where there is paternity testing cuz someone doesn't even know if he's the Father of a child. There are absentee dads, workaholics, and there are dads that are too tough or too easy on their kids. No matter what kind of Dad you have here on earth, your FATHER in heaven is the ultimate Daddy. He is the Daddy we need to look to for our identity and WHO we belong to.
These are some of my favorite scriptures on some of the characteristics of our amazing "Daddy" God:
Psalm 36:5-6, Jeremiah 31:3, Lamentations 3:22-23 - Love
Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.
6 Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
You, Lord, preserve both people and animals.
I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you (to myself) with unfailing kindness.
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Psalm 33:6, 24:1 and 139:13-14a - Creator and Sustainer
The heavens were made by the word of the Lord,
and all the stars, by the breath of His mouth.
The world and all that is in it belong to the Lord; the earth and all who live on it are his.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Titus 3:4-5 - Kind and Merciful
But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love
for mankind appeared,
5 He saved us—
not by works of righteousness that we had done,
but according to His mercy,
through the washing of regeneration
and renewal by the Holy Spirit.
Numbers 23:19 and 1 Samuel 16:7 - Consistent, Fair, and Honest
God is not human, that he should lie,
not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or his stature, because I have rejected him. Man does not see what the Lord sees, for man sees what is visible, but the Lord sees the heart.
Jeremiah 29:11 and 1:5; John 15:19 - Faithful
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.
If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.
Daniel 10:12 and Psalm 94:19 - Compassionate Listener
Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.
Isaiah 41:10 and Psalm 23:1-4 - Strong and Courageous Protector
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
Take in the word of God my friends. Know who loves you, chose you, and who you belong to. God will never leave you or forget you. He watches out for you and provides all you need. Look for Him at work in your life, going before you and protecting you so you don't have to continually look over your shoulder, or know what's coming ahead. Even when you face trials He is grieved at your suffering and will hold your hand. He will grow a garden in the midst of the weeds that spring up in your life, and He makes all things new. Look for His blessings and be thankful. He has already overcome and wants you to be with him forever. It is up to us to accept His love and the life He has called us to live. Will you join me on the journey?
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Sunday, August 11, 2013
So that the blind may see!
John Chapter 9 - a whole chapter devoted to one miracle.
It's not just any miracle...Jesus heals a man who had been blind from birth. This was not just a "magic trick" that could have been done by anyone. Following the miracle, the man is questioned multiple times about it. And Jesus explains his actions to several people on multiple occasions. What is it about this story that has everyone all RILED up???
I encourage you to read the whole chapter in order to gain understanding through context, however I will only include part of it here as our focus.
S - John 9: 13-16, 39-41
They brought the man who used to be blind to the Pharisees. 14 The day that Jesus made the mud and opened his eyes was a Sabbath. 15 So again the Pharisees asked him how he received his sight.
“He put mud on my eyes,” he told them. “I washed and I can see.”
16 Therefore some of the Pharisees said, “This man is not from God, for He doesn’t keep the Sabbath!” But others were saying, “How can a sinful man perform such signs?” And there was a division among them.
Jesus said, “I came into this world for judgment, in order that those who do not see will see and those who do see will become blind.”
40 Some of the Pharisees who were with Him heard these things and asked Him, “We aren’t blind too, are we?”
41 “If you were blind,” Jesus told them, “you wouldn’t have sin. But now that you say, ‘We see’—your sin remains.
O - Oh how the Pharisees loved to pick apart everything and remind you of the "law". Let's look at a few details of this story and dissect the law for a minute.
First, Jesus uses mud. He sculpts it into a shape to place on the blind man's eyes. In the law, you weren't even allowed to "sculpt" the mud on the Sabbath, the Jewish holy day of rest. The simple fact that he picked up the mud and used it was going against Jewish law.
Secondly, he HEALED on the Sabbath. Now I don't know about you but the fact that he healed on ANY day is pretty amazing! I have never understood why they are getting all worked up and completely MISSING the fact that this guy Jesus just took a man that was blind and made it so he can see. They say he is not God and calls him a sinner specifically because he broke the "law". Seriously! Like wake up people.
I don't know Hebrew law well and it might be in there specifically not to do "healing" on the Sabbath, but my thought is that healing wasn't done on a regular basis, at least the full-on complete healing that Jesus was doing, and it was not the NORM. And it amazes me that they are fixating on the fact that he did something on the Sabbath. AND they are not SEEING what is right in front of them. They are so focused on the actions of the man and what the law says that they are missing God. It seems so silly to be fixated on the day of the week. I don't really get how that makes you a sinner. I don't believe that when God gave them the "laws" He intended for them to hold that above meeting people's needs. God gave them the "law" to set them apart from the rest of the world for the purpose of carrying out His plan of salvation, but it was not supposed to define them when it came to having a relationship with the Lord Almighty, the creator of the universe. And it was definitely not set in place to justify ignoring care for people at a basic level, which was exactly what Jesus was doing.
Going back to the mud again for a moment. I find it interesting that Jesus doesn't do something fancy to perform this miracle. He uses mud...from the ground...and then tells him to wash it off. This is what heals his eyes so he can see. Jesus chooses a very basic material, the same of which incidentally God used to create man in the first place, and does incredible "eye opening" things with it! (sorry, fun little pun there...I am my Father's daughter :)
In vs. 39 Jesus says he came for judgment so let's address this a moment. I think this is talking about how Jesus will be judged and take on the judgment for sin, even while he is sin-less. I think it would be easy to interpret this as him saying he has come to judge us. We would be missing his point by taking this view. Jesus came to show us how to live, and to save, not to judge. He is making a point to give us a play on the word "see" and using the miracle of blindness to sight to teach us to be open to what we cannot see with our eyes but can "see" with our hearts. We do not SEE God but can know Him. He sees us for what we can be instead of who we are in our sin. His plan of restoration includes us accepting the gift of salvation by faith and not by sight...we cannot always see God with our eyes, nor can we see what He has in store for us as He changes our hearts and lives, nor can we see or imagine the immeasurable blessings that He has to give.
In vs. 41 when He says that the Pharisees sin because they "see" it means that they are using their human eyes that have limited power to really see who He is, instead of being open to "seeing" God's plan for all of humanity. They are blinded by the law and their own limited interpretation of God's plan. They believed this was just for the Jewish people but God had a bigger plan in mind from the beginning and they are missing it.
A - There is so much here that we can apply to our own lives and I am humbly reminded to look within myself at my own sin. It would be prideful to say that I am a "good" person and follow the "law", which I do. In reality, I am just as big of a sinner as a murderer, which makes me cringe. My pride, losing my temper, judging others, and a handful of other sins, get in the way of my relationship with God. But I am also reminded that God sees me, little ole me, for who I can become in Christ, not who I am in the world. He has paid the price for my sin and the gospel says that there is NOTHING I can do to make God love me more, or less. NOTHING. (Romans 8) I did not earn my salvation by following the law, nor will I keep it or get a better spot in heaven because of "good behavior".
Let me address "good behavior" for a moment. We Christians are actually sometimes the WORST about holding this over people's heads. We say what you can and can't do. We judge others and we judge ourselves. I know a few people that are so wrapped up tight with guilt over something they have done, or something they didn't do, and perhaps even shame over something horrible that someone else did to them, that they don't love themselves, they don't think they are worthy of God's love, and they most definitely are NOT able to love others because they have nothing to give. Like an empty glass begging to be filled with water. On the other side of the spectrum are some other people that don't care what God thinks actually, and don't think they need Him. They want to justify their behavior because they are "good people" and follow MOST of the laws of the land while JUDGING Christians for speaking out about what is right and wrong. I've been unfriended on facebook for giving my opinion on social issues, which I guess is considered "judging", even though the other person giving their opinion about Christians and "bad" behavior didn't consider their own behavior "judging". Hmmm, but I digress.
But the worst of these in my opinion are Christians that act like they are "better" because they do all the "right things" and don't SEE the log in their own eye. They are happy to be proud of themselves for going to church, being in the "best" bible study where all the other "good" people are, giving money, going downtown to feed the homeless, and bringing you dinner when your husband has surgery. Oh, they won't ever say anything to those "less" than themselves that is judgmental...it will be all sugar and sweetness...but they are gossiping to their close friends about you or telling their kids that they can't play with your kids. I admit it...I know this because I have found myself guilty of this a time or two. It hurts to admit it and I just HATE it when I find myself influenced in this direction. I guess my opinion expressed here could be considered judging as well. I DO believe we need to stand true to biblical principles and there is a time and place, and a LOVING way, to address sin. Parents should be cautious and protect their kids from negative influences, but we should not be afraid to "mingle" with those that are not our "kind". After all, Jesus ate a meal with prostitutes and tax collectors!!! This is a slippery slope that we must be cautious of lest we turn people away from the church for what they SEE in us. Do they see Christ, or do they see US?
And so it is important to read John chapter 9 and remember that we too are guilty like the Pharisees of having limited sight. We see what we see with our eyes every day and justify our sin, judge others, fall into temptation, act based on what is right in front of us, or the fear that we feel from what we don't understand or "see" completely. Maybe our sight is limited because we are so focused on unaddressed pain in ourselves. We are blinded from God's ways because we see every day the ways of the world. We don't always see who God is or we don't see His plan because we forget where to look.
Hebrews 12:1-2 says "Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, 2 keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne."
That's right people. We keep our eyes on Jesus. That's what we do. Day in and day out we look to Jesus. And if we don't know how to do that, we keep looking...we seek Him and we mess up...and we learn a little bit...and we keep looking. This doesn't mean we DON'T have to worry about the law because God did give us the Bible, written by His divine power through 40+ authors, that all point to the same thing...God goes before us, He has our back behind us and frankly, He knows what He's doing cuz He like created the whole world or something! Maybe we should listen and stop trying to figure it out on our own. The Bible and the Holy Spirit are our guides. This is how we learn and the more we practice looking, the more we SEE. And when people look for God's plan and trust in Him, He works it all out. He restores, He saves, and He heals with simple materials like mud and water.
P - Oh that I would keep my eyes on you Jesus! I really stink at this sometimes. I sometimes see myself for what I've done in the past, what I haven't done yet, and very often how others see me. But you Lord see me as beautiful, and valuable, and you love me FOR my weakness because it all the more shows your great power when you overcome all that. Use me. Please give me the gift of sight to see your plan for my life and how you want to use me each and every day. I want to look to you and be blinded from the ways of the world. Please hide the temptations from me!!! I pray this prayer for my family and friends as well and especially those that may not believe that you love them, or that you want to use them for GREAT things. I pray they would see themselves as YOU see them and take a step toward loving you and seeking you. I pray they would be surrounded by those that love you and would show them how much love you have to give. May I simply be an instrument to guide others in this same way. Thank you Lord for the privilege of interpreting your word and being able to share it with others. This brings me great joy! I pray all this in Jesus' Holy name! Amen!
It's not just any miracle...Jesus heals a man who had been blind from birth. This was not just a "magic trick" that could have been done by anyone. Following the miracle, the man is questioned multiple times about it. And Jesus explains his actions to several people on multiple occasions. What is it about this story that has everyone all RILED up???
I encourage you to read the whole chapter in order to gain understanding through context, however I will only include part of it here as our focus.
S - John 9: 13-16, 39-41
They brought the man who used to be blind to the Pharisees. 14 The day that Jesus made the mud and opened his eyes was a Sabbath. 15 So again the Pharisees asked him how he received his sight.
“He put mud on my eyes,” he told them. “I washed and I can see.”
16 Therefore some of the Pharisees said, “This man is not from God, for He doesn’t keep the Sabbath!” But others were saying, “How can a sinful man perform such signs?” And there was a division among them.
Jesus said, “I came into this world for judgment, in order that those who do not see will see and those who do see will become blind.”
40 Some of the Pharisees who were with Him heard these things and asked Him, “We aren’t blind too, are we?”
41 “If you were blind,” Jesus told them, “you wouldn’t have sin. But now that you say, ‘We see’—your sin remains.
O - Oh how the Pharisees loved to pick apart everything and remind you of the "law". Let's look at a few details of this story and dissect the law for a minute.
First, Jesus uses mud. He sculpts it into a shape to place on the blind man's eyes. In the law, you weren't even allowed to "sculpt" the mud on the Sabbath, the Jewish holy day of rest. The simple fact that he picked up the mud and used it was going against Jewish law.
Secondly, he HEALED on the Sabbath. Now I don't know about you but the fact that he healed on ANY day is pretty amazing! I have never understood why they are getting all worked up and completely MISSING the fact that this guy Jesus just took a man that was blind and made it so he can see. They say he is not God and calls him a sinner specifically because he broke the "law". Seriously! Like wake up people.
I don't know Hebrew law well and it might be in there specifically not to do "healing" on the Sabbath, but my thought is that healing wasn't done on a regular basis, at least the full-on complete healing that Jesus was doing, and it was not the NORM. And it amazes me that they are fixating on the fact that he did something on the Sabbath. AND they are not SEEING what is right in front of them. They are so focused on the actions of the man and what the law says that they are missing God. It seems so silly to be fixated on the day of the week. I don't really get how that makes you a sinner. I don't believe that when God gave them the "laws" He intended for them to hold that above meeting people's needs. God gave them the "law" to set them apart from the rest of the world for the purpose of carrying out His plan of salvation, but it was not supposed to define them when it came to having a relationship with the Lord Almighty, the creator of the universe. And it was definitely not set in place to justify ignoring care for people at a basic level, which was exactly what Jesus was doing.
Going back to the mud again for a moment. I find it interesting that Jesus doesn't do something fancy to perform this miracle. He uses mud...from the ground...and then tells him to wash it off. This is what heals his eyes so he can see. Jesus chooses a very basic material, the same of which incidentally God used to create man in the first place, and does incredible "eye opening" things with it! (sorry, fun little pun there...I am my Father's daughter :)
In vs. 39 Jesus says he came for judgment so let's address this a moment. I think this is talking about how Jesus will be judged and take on the judgment for sin, even while he is sin-less. I think it would be easy to interpret this as him saying he has come to judge us. We would be missing his point by taking this view. Jesus came to show us how to live, and to save, not to judge. He is making a point to give us a play on the word "see" and using the miracle of blindness to sight to teach us to be open to what we cannot see with our eyes but can "see" with our hearts. We do not SEE God but can know Him. He sees us for what we can be instead of who we are in our sin. His plan of restoration includes us accepting the gift of salvation by faith and not by sight...we cannot always see God with our eyes, nor can we see what He has in store for us as He changes our hearts and lives, nor can we see or imagine the immeasurable blessings that He has to give.
In vs. 41 when He says that the Pharisees sin because they "see" it means that they are using their human eyes that have limited power to really see who He is, instead of being open to "seeing" God's plan for all of humanity. They are blinded by the law and their own limited interpretation of God's plan. They believed this was just for the Jewish people but God had a bigger plan in mind from the beginning and they are missing it.
A - There is so much here that we can apply to our own lives and I am humbly reminded to look within myself at my own sin. It would be prideful to say that I am a "good" person and follow the "law", which I do. In reality, I am just as big of a sinner as a murderer, which makes me cringe. My pride, losing my temper, judging others, and a handful of other sins, get in the way of my relationship with God. But I am also reminded that God sees me, little ole me, for who I can become in Christ, not who I am in the world. He has paid the price for my sin and the gospel says that there is NOTHING I can do to make God love me more, or less. NOTHING. (Romans 8) I did not earn my salvation by following the law, nor will I keep it or get a better spot in heaven because of "good behavior".
Let me address "good behavior" for a moment. We Christians are actually sometimes the WORST about holding this over people's heads. We say what you can and can't do. We judge others and we judge ourselves. I know a few people that are so wrapped up tight with guilt over something they have done, or something they didn't do, and perhaps even shame over something horrible that someone else did to them, that they don't love themselves, they don't think they are worthy of God's love, and they most definitely are NOT able to love others because they have nothing to give. Like an empty glass begging to be filled with water. On the other side of the spectrum are some other people that don't care what God thinks actually, and don't think they need Him. They want to justify their behavior because they are "good people" and follow MOST of the laws of the land while JUDGING Christians for speaking out about what is right and wrong. I've been unfriended on facebook for giving my opinion on social issues, which I guess is considered "judging", even though the other person giving their opinion about Christians and "bad" behavior didn't consider their own behavior "judging". Hmmm, but I digress.
But the worst of these in my opinion are Christians that act like they are "better" because they do all the "right things" and don't SEE the log in their own eye. They are happy to be proud of themselves for going to church, being in the "best" bible study where all the other "good" people are, giving money, going downtown to feed the homeless, and bringing you dinner when your husband has surgery. Oh, they won't ever say anything to those "less" than themselves that is judgmental...it will be all sugar and sweetness...but they are gossiping to their close friends about you or telling their kids that they can't play with your kids. I admit it...I know this because I have found myself guilty of this a time or two. It hurts to admit it and I just HATE it when I find myself influenced in this direction. I guess my opinion expressed here could be considered judging as well. I DO believe we need to stand true to biblical principles and there is a time and place, and a LOVING way, to address sin. Parents should be cautious and protect their kids from negative influences, but we should not be afraid to "mingle" with those that are not our "kind". After all, Jesus ate a meal with prostitutes and tax collectors!!! This is a slippery slope that we must be cautious of lest we turn people away from the church for what they SEE in us. Do they see Christ, or do they see US?
And so it is important to read John chapter 9 and remember that we too are guilty like the Pharisees of having limited sight. We see what we see with our eyes every day and justify our sin, judge others, fall into temptation, act based on what is right in front of us, or the fear that we feel from what we don't understand or "see" completely. Maybe our sight is limited because we are so focused on unaddressed pain in ourselves. We are blinded from God's ways because we see every day the ways of the world. We don't always see who God is or we don't see His plan because we forget where to look.
Hebrews 12:1-2 says "Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, 2 keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne."
That's right people. We keep our eyes on Jesus. That's what we do. Day in and day out we look to Jesus. And if we don't know how to do that, we keep looking...we seek Him and we mess up...and we learn a little bit...and we keep looking. This doesn't mean we DON'T have to worry about the law because God did give us the Bible, written by His divine power through 40+ authors, that all point to the same thing...God goes before us, He has our back behind us and frankly, He knows what He's doing cuz He like created the whole world or something! Maybe we should listen and stop trying to figure it out on our own. The Bible and the Holy Spirit are our guides. This is how we learn and the more we practice looking, the more we SEE. And when people look for God's plan and trust in Him, He works it all out. He restores, He saves, and He heals with simple materials like mud and water.
P - Oh that I would keep my eyes on you Jesus! I really stink at this sometimes. I sometimes see myself for what I've done in the past, what I haven't done yet, and very often how others see me. But you Lord see me as beautiful, and valuable, and you love me FOR my weakness because it all the more shows your great power when you overcome all that. Use me. Please give me the gift of sight to see your plan for my life and how you want to use me each and every day. I want to look to you and be blinded from the ways of the world. Please hide the temptations from me!!! I pray this prayer for my family and friends as well and especially those that may not believe that you love them, or that you want to use them for GREAT things. I pray they would see themselves as YOU see them and take a step toward loving you and seeking you. I pray they would be surrounded by those that love you and would show them how much love you have to give. May I simply be an instrument to guide others in this same way. Thank you Lord for the privilege of interpreting your word and being able to share it with others. This brings me great joy! I pray all this in Jesus' Holy name! Amen!
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Self (control) is a 4 letter word
I have been thinking a lot about self-control and obedience the last couple months. It seems that many I've talked to lately are struggling with this subject as well. Whether it's "holding our tongue", staying out of the drive through, buying bigger and better "stuff", or resisting a temptation. Many Christians are challenged to be obedient and change our bad habits but it's HARD isn't it???
And what is it about the word "obedience" that makes us clench our teeth? At least it does mine! I'm a rebel...always have been. When someone tells me I can't do something, there's a part of me that says "Hmmm, why not?" or maybe "we'll see about that!" And yet when someone ELSE is breaking the rules, I'm very much the do-gooder, amazingly surprised at their actions. So don't get me wrong. I am a rule follower and take pride in doing the right thing. I don't like being in "trouble" so I usually follow the rules...unless it's a hard rule to follow or "someone else is doing it" and I might start considering the parameters of the "rule". Is it a rule that makes sense? Have we always done it this way and does it need to be changed? Does the person that set the rule really care if the rule is enforced? Is it more of a "guideline"? I'm a triangle...I want to know "what's the point?"
I think about obedience a lot because I seem to be my own worst critic when it comes to reaching a goal and "self-control" (or a lack there of!) seems to always be the biggest hurdle. And I KNOW I am not alone.
Which brings me to what I wanted to share from scripture this week...there is a point to this prequel I promise. I'm on a "detox" diet and I can't have anything fun for 11 days. That's not actually completely true...strawberries are fun...cilantro is fun. yeah, that's it. The rest is boring veggies and lean meat. I can't have caffeine, sugar, dairy, gluten or ANYTHING artificial/processed. I love food. Ask my family...I'll pretty much eat anything and love MANY things so it is not easy to have self-control this week. Sticking to the diet is hard but I am determined and I keep focusing on the fact that it is temporary torture.
Food isn't actually my biggest problem though. It's getting enough sleep and fitting in the exercise. (I'm up late writing right now because my house is quiet!) One of the other things I'm doing during the 11 days on this special diet that is supposed to be kicking up my metabolism a notch, is getting enough sleep and exercise. So how am I doing? GREAT on the diet and exercise part...just OK on the sleeping part. I have had 8+ hours of sleep 4 out of 6 days so far...tonight is not one of them. I guess that's not too bad. And if I'm really honest with myself, the problem is time management.
So with that confessional, let's take a look at what the scripture says on "self-control".
S - 2 Peter 1:3-9 (Holman Christian Standard Version/Apologetics Bible)
3 His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. 4 By these He has given us very great and precious promises, so that through them you may share in the divine nature, escaping the corruption that is in the world because of evil desires. 5 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, 6 knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness, 7 godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they will keep you from being useless or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 The person who lacks these things is blind and shortsighted and has forgotten the cleansing from his past sins.
O - First observation that just gives me such an amazing peace is vs. 3 which says that God gives us EVERYTHING "required" for life and godliness through His divine power. Did you catch that? EVERYTHING that is REQUIRED. Not everything we WANT. This is so important because I think our satisfaction level is such a HUGE part of living with self-control and obedience. Why is it that we convince ourselves that we "need" something, in the moment, on an impulse? We usually give in because we decide it is worth it to "enjoy" whatever it is that we think we NEED. We desire the enjoyment more than we desire to be satisfied in God and what He provides. Don't worry...I'm preaching to the mirror!
Next observation is about the promises that God gives. These are great and precious promises that allow us to SHARE in God's divine nature. We are not subordinates that He looks down on. Jesus calls us His friends and we are CHOSEN to "bear fruit". (John 15:15-16). He wants to SHARE His divine nature with us and help us escape the "corruption" that is in the world...evil desires are of the world and this is not OF God. He is not condemning US, He is condemning the evil desires, the temptations, the corruption that draws us away from Him and His promises. These promises are His protection. We have a choice to believe these promises.
The final observation I have is the progression of HOW to be useful and fruitful. The meaning behind this progression is that after we receive salvation (by grace/God's gift, not by works/what we DO) we are challenged and motivated by the Holy Spirit to seek God's path for us. This is like a path with many choices and it is in finding God's path that we find our purpose, how He will use us, and how we will produce "fruit". (see also Galatians 5:22 on the fruit of the spirit).
This is where the progression listed in this scripture is so interesting. The final step in this progression is love...I think this means it's the ultimate goal and is pretty important. We are asked to "supplement" our faith FIRST with goodness. To supplement means to complete or make an addition to. Then we are to supplement goodness with KNOWLEDGE and then it is through knowledge that we can then supplement our faith with self-control. This is not so much "smarts" as it is gaining wisdom. In other words, we must BEGIN and ACT. We must find a way to begin showing goodness and by our acts of goodness, (and I believe also with studying God's word) we will begin to find strength in showing self-control. AFTER we start working purposefully on self-control is when we can really find the ability to have endurance, godliness, brotherly affection, and love.
A - I believe this passage is saying that the key to obedience to God is self-control, which really comes from knowledge/wisdom and taking steps toward goodness. SELF-control is really putting GOD in control and a release of "self"...it's really "God-control". We must work towards finding a way to focus on God's provision and being satisfied in His blessings. If we do not open our eyes and renew our mind to see and think the things of God, then we will not be successful in our attempts at obedience. Oh yes, we will slip up, and even mess up royally. But that is also the beauty of a relationship with Christ. He advocates for us and has already covered our sin and mistakes with his own blood. God sees us for what we WILL be instead of what holds us back.
So I think I can conquer the diet thing this week without saying any 4 letter words...long term will have to come with opening my eyes and renewing my mind, to see God's provision and promises clearly. In order for me to conquer my "night owl" problem, I must focus on my satisfaction in the Lord, instead of the satisfaction I get from being in my house in the quiet late at night writing about it! Hmmmm...I'll have to work on that.
For more scripture on this topic, read David's efforts toward self-control in 1 Samuel 24:1-15;26:1-20
And read these scriptures for more encouragement:
Philippians 3:9
Galatians 5:13
James 4:2-3
2 Corinthians 3:5
1 Peter 1:13-16
Romans 8:26-28
P - Father God, you are the best Daddy because you provide ALL that we need. I am in awe that you never forget us, nor do you give up on us. You are persistent to draw us to you and remind us that your love is consistent, never-ending and readily available no matter what we have done, if we will receive it! I pray that you will show me how and where to take action to show goodness towards others and in so doing I will gain knowledge and wisdom on the path to self-control. Walking in your ways is my goal and I thank you that you see me for who I will become, not for what I have done. Give me strength and courage to be bold in my faith and not only stand up for what is right in obedience, but also to help and guide others to do the same. In the precious name of Jesus I pray. amen.
And what is it about the word "obedience" that makes us clench our teeth? At least it does mine! I'm a rebel...always have been. When someone tells me I can't do something, there's a part of me that says "Hmmm, why not?" or maybe "we'll see about that!" And yet when someone ELSE is breaking the rules, I'm very much the do-gooder, amazingly surprised at their actions. So don't get me wrong. I am a rule follower and take pride in doing the right thing. I don't like being in "trouble" so I usually follow the rules...unless it's a hard rule to follow or "someone else is doing it" and I might start considering the parameters of the "rule". Is it a rule that makes sense? Have we always done it this way and does it need to be changed? Does the person that set the rule really care if the rule is enforced? Is it more of a "guideline"? I'm a triangle...I want to know "what's the point?"
I think about obedience a lot because I seem to be my own worst critic when it comes to reaching a goal and "self-control" (or a lack there of!) seems to always be the biggest hurdle. And I KNOW I am not alone.
Which brings me to what I wanted to share from scripture this week...there is a point to this prequel I promise. I'm on a "detox" diet and I can't have anything fun for 11 days. That's not actually completely true...strawberries are fun...cilantro is fun. yeah, that's it. The rest is boring veggies and lean meat. I can't have caffeine, sugar, dairy, gluten or ANYTHING artificial/processed. I love food. Ask my family...I'll pretty much eat anything and love MANY things so it is not easy to have self-control this week. Sticking to the diet is hard but I am determined and I keep focusing on the fact that it is temporary torture.
Food isn't actually my biggest problem though. It's getting enough sleep and fitting in the exercise. (I'm up late writing right now because my house is quiet!) One of the other things I'm doing during the 11 days on this special diet that is supposed to be kicking up my metabolism a notch, is getting enough sleep and exercise. So how am I doing? GREAT on the diet and exercise part...just OK on the sleeping part. I have had 8+ hours of sleep 4 out of 6 days so far...tonight is not one of them. I guess that's not too bad. And if I'm really honest with myself, the problem is time management.
So with that confessional, let's take a look at what the scripture says on "self-control".
S - 2 Peter 1:3-9 (Holman Christian Standard Version/Apologetics Bible)
3 His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. 4 By these He has given us very great and precious promises, so that through them you may share in the divine nature, escaping the corruption that is in the world because of evil desires. 5 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, 6 knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness, 7 godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they will keep you from being useless or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 The person who lacks these things is blind and shortsighted and has forgotten the cleansing from his past sins.
O - First observation that just gives me such an amazing peace is vs. 3 which says that God gives us EVERYTHING "required" for life and godliness through His divine power. Did you catch that? EVERYTHING that is REQUIRED. Not everything we WANT. This is so important because I think our satisfaction level is such a HUGE part of living with self-control and obedience. Why is it that we convince ourselves that we "need" something, in the moment, on an impulse? We usually give in because we decide it is worth it to "enjoy" whatever it is that we think we NEED. We desire the enjoyment more than we desire to be satisfied in God and what He provides. Don't worry...I'm preaching to the mirror!
Next observation is about the promises that God gives. These are great and precious promises that allow us to SHARE in God's divine nature. We are not subordinates that He looks down on. Jesus calls us His friends and we are CHOSEN to "bear fruit". (John 15:15-16). He wants to SHARE His divine nature with us and help us escape the "corruption" that is in the world...evil desires are of the world and this is not OF God. He is not condemning US, He is condemning the evil desires, the temptations, the corruption that draws us away from Him and His promises. These promises are His protection. We have a choice to believe these promises.
The final observation I have is the progression of HOW to be useful and fruitful. The meaning behind this progression is that after we receive salvation (by grace/God's gift, not by works/what we DO) we are challenged and motivated by the Holy Spirit to seek God's path for us. This is like a path with many choices and it is in finding God's path that we find our purpose, how He will use us, and how we will produce "fruit". (see also Galatians 5:22 on the fruit of the spirit).
This is where the progression listed in this scripture is so interesting. The final step in this progression is love...I think this means it's the ultimate goal and is pretty important. We are asked to "supplement" our faith FIRST with goodness. To supplement means to complete or make an addition to. Then we are to supplement goodness with KNOWLEDGE and then it is through knowledge that we can then supplement our faith with self-control. This is not so much "smarts" as it is gaining wisdom. In other words, we must BEGIN and ACT. We must find a way to begin showing goodness and by our acts of goodness, (and I believe also with studying God's word) we will begin to find strength in showing self-control. AFTER we start working purposefully on self-control is when we can really find the ability to have endurance, godliness, brotherly affection, and love.
A - I believe this passage is saying that the key to obedience to God is self-control, which really comes from knowledge/wisdom and taking steps toward goodness. SELF-control is really putting GOD in control and a release of "self"...it's really "God-control". We must work towards finding a way to focus on God's provision and being satisfied in His blessings. If we do not open our eyes and renew our mind to see and think the things of God, then we will not be successful in our attempts at obedience. Oh yes, we will slip up, and even mess up royally. But that is also the beauty of a relationship with Christ. He advocates for us and has already covered our sin and mistakes with his own blood. God sees us for what we WILL be instead of what holds us back.
So I think I can conquer the diet thing this week without saying any 4 letter words...long term will have to come with opening my eyes and renewing my mind, to see God's provision and promises clearly. In order for me to conquer my "night owl" problem, I must focus on my satisfaction in the Lord, instead of the satisfaction I get from being in my house in the quiet late at night writing about it! Hmmmm...I'll have to work on that.
For more scripture on this topic, read David's efforts toward self-control in 1 Samuel 24:1-15;26:1-20
And read these scriptures for more encouragement:
Philippians 3:9
Galatians 5:13
James 4:2-3
2 Corinthians 3:5
1 Peter 1:13-16
Romans 8:26-28
P - Father God, you are the best Daddy because you provide ALL that we need. I am in awe that you never forget us, nor do you give up on us. You are persistent to draw us to you and remind us that your love is consistent, never-ending and readily available no matter what we have done, if we will receive it! I pray that you will show me how and where to take action to show goodness towards others and in so doing I will gain knowledge and wisdom on the path to self-control. Walking in your ways is my goal and I thank you that you see me for who I will become, not for what I have done. Give me strength and courage to be bold in my faith and not only stand up for what is right in obedience, but also to help and guide others to do the same. In the precious name of Jesus I pray. amen.
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