Who's Your Daddy?

Today I want to share our family story. This is a story of adoption, renewal, finding our IDENTITY and the ultimate Daddy! Grab a cup of jo and hold on for a wild ride!

Our daughter A joined our family three years ago, two weeks shy of her 15th birthday. It's been a big, roller coaster transition for our family. And it's been amazingly wonderful!

First of all, our oldest biological son is no longer the oldest. They are only actually 9 months apart in age and one year in school. These two have had the biggest hurdles to overcome in the family but I have to say I am busting with pride for how much they have both grown as individuals and in their sibling relationship. I couldn't have predicted they would have the bond they have...they actually act like brother and sister! Second, the boys had never had a sister boss them around before, nor had they ever had a girl in the house besides their mom (that brings a whole new set of hormones!), NOR had they been much into pop music, the Disney Channel, or Justin Bieber...that right there will change everything! Now that she's 18, it's not quite as bad although there is still a lot of "pop culture" flying around...except when she tries to make us think she's a "thug" :)

Our girl had a rough start in life...The second of 4 siblings with an alcoholic, neglectful, and often abusive mother, and absent father. The parents were teens when they had their children and did not have the support system to care for these kids, but they didn't seek help either. The kids were basically left to fend for themselves and A was the "momma". The oldest sister was off who knows where most of the time while A cared for her two younger brothers. She was molested and witnessed horrendous actions by her mother during this time. She was forced to grow up and have responsibility too soon. She endured more than anyone should have to in their lifetime before the age of 7. Just before her 8th birthday (2003), the state was alerted to their situation and took over caring for the kids. They tried to place them with Dad, which didn't work since he had never been in the picture much and had a new girlfriend who did not want the kids. They moved to several foster homes and mom lost her rights after a year of only half-way trying to get them back. Eventually the kids were too much to handle in one foster home and were split up.

That is where we come into the story. In June of 2009 we got licensed through Arrow Family Ministries (partnering with CPS) to "foster to adopt". We had originally requested a girl or two between the ages of 5-8...in school, but not older at the time than our youngest. We thought we were so awesome that unlike the MANY other families interested in adoption, we did NOT want a baby or toddler, but didn't want to mess with "birth order". We were really patting ourselves on the back with that one! We had ZERO interest in adopting a teenager and wouldn't you know it, God would change our mind!

One of our foster parent classes began with our case worker asking all of us to consider adopting an older child. "Just pray about it", he said. We all were like "no way" :) And then Tom and I went home and within a few days I found myself looking at these kids online and thinking that I just needed to pray for them. One night, I found myself reading the description on one girl and realized that her birthday was the very next day! She was going to be 18 and I just started crying! Tom thought I had lost it. I exclaimed with great sadness, "Who is going to walk her down the aisle when she gets married? Who is going to help her when she has her first child? Who will she get to be with at Christmas?" The Holy Spirit convicted me and broke my heart that night. It grieved me to know that there are 1000s of teens in Texas alone that are waiting for adoption and when they age out, they will not have a family or any support system. I just couldn't stand it. It took Tom a little longer to come around but soon we both agreed that God was calling us specifically to adopt a teen girl...we just hadn't been willing to open our hearts to it before. We admitted that we were afraid, but wanted to be obedient to what we felt like we MUST do. We told our caseworker that we were switching our search to teenaged girls.

Now here's where it really gets good! In Aug of 2009 we still had not found the right girl for us after two months of searching. You'd think that out of 3000 kids we could find ONE. We were frustrated, and yet we knew that God had the perfect girl in mind for our family. One of our main concerns was the "street smarts" and influence that our boys would be subjected to with adopting a teen that had faced unimaginable challenges. We weren't ready to explain the horrors of the world to them, but we knew that God would take care of them and guide our discussion on important issues. This was one reason that we had to say no to a couple of girls who we felt were not the ones that God had in mind for our family. Meanwhile, A had had 2 failed adoptions and was trying to get her uncle to adopt her so she had been out of the state-wide online system for a little bit. None of those situations had panned out and so she remained in a foster home with a loving, single mom while her youngest brother was adopted, her older sister was a run away, and her next youngest brother was struggling in a group home.

Patiently we spent several nights a week looking at pictures and case worker descriptions of teens from all over Texas. Tom actually came upon the picture of our daughter first one night and asked me to read her case info. I was immediately drawn to her smile, which Tom says is also what drew him to her. There was joy in her eyes. I read her info and was concerned. She had stated in her desire for a "family" that she wanted a single mom and we were not a single mom family (kids over 11 are allowed to approve or disapprove of their adoption family). I remember telling Tom that I didn't think we should even consider her if she doesn't want to be open to having a Dad in her life and he said that it made him want her MORE! I'll never forget it. My heart was so full of love for my husband in that moment because he is such a good Daddy! He said that she didn't really know how good a Daddy could be and he wanted to be the one to show her. Wow! The tears fell again...

So we submitted a request for more info to our case worker, He requested, CPS had some conference calls about us, we got more info, more paperwork, more conference calls and then the call came the first week of October that we had been selected to be A's family! Oh happy day...we thought. They said it would be 6 weeks to get her file, which we had to read completely before we could move forward. Sad face. Oh but wait, it wasn't 6 weeks! It was 4 MONTHS!!! Ugh! What are these people doing anyway??? Handling thousands of kids or something??? HA! :) So finally it came...the FIVE large envelopes with about 2500 pieces of paper for us to read completely. That was our weekend.

After another 2 months, LOTS of praying, more conference calls, MORE praying, more reading, more calls, more paperwork...we finally got to set a date for our trip to meet A in another city. So with anticipation, we had my family keep the boys for the weekend and we went to meet our daughter! Two weeks later she moved in with us. And 7 months later we finalized adoption! It wasn't that smooth and easy of course but God was there throughout the process and we knew we had made the right decision.

Our daughter has gone through incredible personal struggle, and still does, to figure out her identity within our family, and all her relationships. And yet through it all she has managed to see how God has helped her begin to see how she can use her story in a positive way, and accept her identity in our family. "Identity" is a key word here because I think it would be hard to find your identity when you've had so much inconsistency in your life and so many people let you down, as A has experienced. She does not look like us, although many have said she is just a "latina" version of me :) I'll take that as a complement! She has many interests and experiences that are different from ours. She spent her childhood experiencing a much more "urban" way of life and now finds herself in suburbia. We have family traditions and inside jokes, and memories that she does not share. It would be easy for her to NOT identify herself with us. And yet even with all that, we love each other and embrace each others differences. We are a family. She is a part of us and we are a part of her. We are creating NEW traditions and NEW memories and the coolest part of our family story is that we CHOSE each other. Not many families can say that. There are days I want to kick a few people in this family to the moon, and I'm sure they feel that way about me sometimes. But all in all, the blessings outweigh the negative because we know who we belong to. 

In reality, that is the "glue" that holds all of us together...our identity is in Christ. We know who we ALL belong to and we can look to the Lord to affirm the TRUTH about who we are, not what the world or the "enemy" says we are. A has come to know God in a real ,profound and marvelous way as her "daddy". She believes that He pulled her out of her situation and saved her. She has accepted Jesus as her personal savior and Lord of her life. When asked, she has the view that she does NOT wish her life had been different because God is EMPOWERING HER to share her story and inspire others. She is making a difference and she gives God the credit! He has provided for her all she has needed and He has cared and loved her. Her biological sister has had the same opportunities but has chosen to run away, be independent and go her own way...she is running away from God even while He pursues her. The difference is that God would have done the same for her sister but she is not yet open to receive it...God "adopted" our daughter through her faith in Christ. This is her true identity.

So I ask...Who's YOUR Daddy? You might have an awesome human Daddy that loves and supports you...maybe he's your biggest fan, stands by your side through thick and thin and has taught you much. And there are many that do not. It seems amazing to me that you see on some of these talk shows where there is paternity testing cuz someone doesn't even know if he's the Father of a child. There are absentee dads, workaholics, and there are dads that are too tough or too easy on their kids. No matter what kind of Dad you have here on earth, your FATHER in heaven is the ultimate Daddy. He is the Daddy we need to look to for our identity and WHO we belong to.

These are some of my favorite scriptures on some of the characteristics of our amazing "Daddy" God:

Psalm 36:5-6, Jeremiah 31:3, Lamentations 3:22-23 - Love
Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens,
    your faithfulness to the skies.
⁶ Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
    your justice like the great deep.
    You, Lord, preserve both people and animals.

I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you (to myself) with unfailing kindness.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Psalm 33:6, 24:1 and 139:13-14a - Creator and Sustainer
The heavens were made by the word of the Lord,
and all the stars, by the breath of His mouth.

The world and all that is in it belong to the Lord; the earth and all who live on it are his.

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Titus 3:4-5 - Kind and Merciful
But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love
for mankind appeared,
⁵ He saved us—
not by works of righteousness that we had done,
but according to His mercy,
through the washing of regeneration
and renewal by the Holy Spirit.

Numbers 23:19 and 1 Samuel 16:7 - Consistent, Fair, and Honest
God is not human, that he should lie,
    not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
    Does he promise and not fulfill?

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or his stature, because I have rejected him. Man does not see what the Lord sees, for man sees what is visible, but the Lord sees the heart.

Jeremiah 29:11 and 1:5; John 15:19 - Faithful
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.

If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

Daniel 10:12 and Psalm 94:19 - Compassionate Listener
Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.

Isaiah 41:10 and Psalm 23:1-4 - Strong and Courageous Protector
So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

The Lord is my shepherd;
    I have all that I need.
² He lets me rest in green meadows;
    he leads me beside peaceful streams.
³     He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
    bringing honor to his name.
⁴ Even when I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
    for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
    protect and comfort me.


Take in the word of God my friends. Know who loves you, chose you, and who you belong to. God will never leave you or forget you. He watches out for you and provides all you need. Look for Him at work in your life, going before you and protecting you so you don't have to continually look over your shoulder, or know what's coming ahead. Even when you face trials He is grieved at your suffering and will hold your hand. He will grow a garden in the midst of the weeds that spring up in your life, and He makes all things new. Look for His blessings and be thankful. He has already overcome and wants you to be with him forever. It is up to us to accept His love and the life He has called us to live. Will you join me on the journey?

The American Dream and Finding our "Treasure"

Today I am posting because tomorrow is the 4th and I will be with my family and serving at my church instead of blogging! I am sharing something I wrote on yesterday's scripture reading. I will warn you...it got pretty long and I admit I had a lot of thoughts to share, so sit down when you have an hour or so :) It's mostly unedited because I was just writing away. I have been reading a lot lately about the current political and social debate issues and so I have been influenced by some to join in the discussion on "freedom". Before I wrote this I had been reading and viewing a lot of video discussion by other theologians and ultimately this is for me about what the Bible has to say. However, for more insight, after you read my thoughts, consider investigating some input on related issues with the following:

Tim Keller and Albert Mohler discuss "what is morality" and how do we judge what is "harmful". This elaborates on the issue of "independence" and "freedom"
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/09/20/what-is-morality-other-than-harm/

Tim Keller references in the above discussion a book by Andrew Delbanco called "The Real American Dream" and there is a NY Times review of this book from a secular view that I don't necessarily agree with on all points but does conjure up some interesting discussion
After viewing the above video for context, Read the article here http://www.nytimes.com/books/99/11/07/reviews/991107.07rortyt.html

I am currently reading JD Greear's book called "Gospel" and here is an interesting perspective (video discussion) on the gay marriage debate
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2013/07/03/how-can-homosexuality-be-wrong-if-it-doesnt-harm-anyone/

And you can go even deeper into this with Voddie Baucham's article on "civil rights"
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/07/19/gay-is-not-the-new-black/

And finally, here are just some interesting facts on "9 things you should know about Independence Day and the Declaration of Independence"
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2013/07/03/9-things-you-should-know-about-independence-day-and-the-declaration-of-independence/

Please share your thoughts on anything I've written or on the above commentaries. I am always open to reflecting on other opinions and ideas that are shared in the spirit of MUTUAL understanding.

SOAP devotional for July 2, 2013

S – Matthew 6:19-34

¹⁹ “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be. ²² “Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. ²³ But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is! ²⁴ “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. ²⁵ “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? ²⁷ Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? ²⁸ “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, ²⁹ yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. ³⁰ And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? ³¹ “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ ³² These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. ³³ Seek the Kingdom of God^[d] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. ³⁴ “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

O – There really is SO much here that we can learn. What strikes me most this time in reading this passage again (for the 100^th? time) is vs. 22 talking about the eye providing light to the body. I’ve never really focused on this part that says your body is filled with “darkness” when your eye is bad. And then it goes on to say that if you “think” you have light but you really have darkness, how DEEP the darkness is. To me this is like going to the eye doctor and finding out you have cataracts or that you need even a minor adjustment to your vision with glasses. You have been walking around and maybe not even aware that your eyes were working so hard to see clearly when all of a sudden you put on some glasses or have surgery and VOILA! You can see clearly! It’s like euphoria when you realize how clear your vision is!

Another observation I haven’t really thought about before until this reading is the lilies of the field and how God cares for the “wildflowers”. God cares deeply for these flowers that really know nothing of God’s greatness and therefore if He cares for them, we should assume how much more He cares for us. If you think about it, no one plants wildflowers…they just grow, wild and out of control. This makes me think of kids that are for whatever reason left to basically raise themselves…they grow “wild and out of control”. This doesn’t always mean they are bad kids. I think it depends on which road they choose to take. There are kids that are neglected, abused, run away, etc. Some of these kids choose to make something of themselves in spite of their situation. They work hard in school. They look for mentors and ask for help. There are “rich” kids that raise themselves or have a nanny because mom and dad are busy making the dough or playing tennis or busy with their “charity work”. Many of these kids may see the disadvantaged in the world around them and choose to focus on the good they can do instead of the loneliness they may feel. I used to teach a bunch of kids that lived in apartments and were what we called “latch-key kids”. They came home to an empty house because maybe they were being raised by a single mom working two jobs or doing shift work at weird hours and these kids had to be responsible enough to cook their own dinner and do their homework on their own. I don’t think these parents didn’t care for their kids, I think they were in a tough spot and felt they didn’t have much choice.

A – Today in reading this I feel like there are a lot of puzzle pieces in my head that are coming together to create a picture of the American Dream. This week we celebrate “Independence Day” and the birthday of our country becoming an independent nation. There are people all over the world that seek to come here to work, and go to school, and live the “American Dream”. MANY are crossing the border from Mexico illegally every day because if their children are born here then they will be American and have a “better life”. So many people think we have it so good and in reality we have it better economically than probably 90% of the rest of the world…is that too high of a number??? Probably not…there is a LOT of poverty around the world. However, I would like to venture an idea that we are really no better off than any other country and are not setting a very good example of using our “independence” for good. Now stay with me because I have a lot of thoughts that I’m trying to communicate clearly…I hope this makes sense.

My Grandfather, Michael Varro, was born in Hungary (in a part that actually became Romania after WW2) and immigrated as a child with his father and brothers to Saskatchewan, Canada. His father desired to make a better life for his children after his wife died and spent everything he had to come over on a ship to North America. He worked for the railroad and they lived in a boxcar. They had nothing. My Grandfather found the Lord as a young man at a revival and hitchhiked to California to go to Bible College. He met my Grandmother and they had 5 children (one died at the age of 4) and were missionaries to Taiwan and China for over 30 years. He became an American citizen shortly after my Dad was born in Alaska, before it was even a state. Ok, so that’s the short version and one branch of the family tree on where I came from. I share that because that is MY personal foundation for living the American dream…and yet, it’s not. My Grandfather came here for a better life and chose to become an American citizen, and yet he never desired to “get rich” or make a name for himself, and he definitely didn’t stay IN America to live out his purpose. His “American Dream” was actually to seek God and serve Him. I didn’t know my Grandfather well and honestly I resented him a lot when I was younger because he always seemed to care more about his “work” and what God wanted him to do than his family. However, I have come to the realization as an adult that he was simply doing what he believed he was called to do and he knew that God would take care of the rest of us. He was not “worried” about his family because he had a confidence in God’s provision. Now maybe he did actually take that a little too far…he was flawed as we ALL are in relationships to some extent because he didn’t always see that God’s provision for families is a loving, present father/grandfather. We all could use some help in the area of HOW to love our “people”. But what I have learned from his example is that our true purpose is to follow the Lord’s call and let HIM worry about the rest.

In this passage in Matthew, God is trying to teach us about DEpendence on Him. We are often so busy pursuing the “American Dream” and paying our bills and seeking that ONE thing that will make life “better” (if I only had a new car, if I only had an extra $100, if I only had a boyfriend, if I only had a better job, etc.), and even trying to figure out our PURPOSE that we are missing our true PURPOSE. If we look at the wildflowers of the world and how so many kids that are raising themselves are becoming “independent” in their thoughts because they are thinking “I don’t need anyone because I know how to take care of myself”. We as a society are doing them and ourselves a disservice because we are becoming a society of like-minded people. We are becoming more and more “independent” as a nation when God is trying to draw us to Him and become a DEpendent people. We think “The world has let me down…I can do this on my own.” And God says “You need me. I’m here to help. I am already working along side you and AHEAD of you. I have a ‘plan and purpose’ for your life”. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Just look at what is happening in our courts and political arena right now. The social issues that are getting everyone heated are causing division and greater independence. They are about personal “freedom”, “choice”, “civil rights”. We are dividing ourselves into small minority groups, even among Christians. We are speaking up for what we believe in, which is GOOD, but we are losing track of HOW we are treating each other and therefore creating MORE division. The plain truth is that we are not all playing nicely in the “sandbox” and we are all trying to take our ball and go home, but the REALITY is that we are a NATION that is a community, whether we like it or not and we need to GET ALONG. There really isn’t any “independence” when it comes to living in a community, unless you’re the unibomber living off by yourself in the woods somewhere. We all have neighbors and co-workers and drive down the road together. Our kids go to school together or play at the park together. Our dogs go to the same vet and we go to the same doctor’s office. There isn’t really “independence” when we must interact with people every day. And I would venture to say that I think the key here that relates to the “American Dream” is that we are getting so focused on our “cause” that we are forgetting what is at the root of it all. Life is really about relationships and we are doing a STINKY job at the “golden rule”.

Which brings me back to focusing on the scripture at hand. The primary message here really is we are not to store up treasures on earth, nor are we to worry about our needs, and we are to seek and serve God. This is our purpose. We have become a very secular society of late and so many do not understand or embrace this purpose. Many believe that we are just here and we are to embrace the “YOLO” way of life, not concerned about anyone else…this is REAL “freedom” right?  What I do shouldn’t concern you and you are free to do what you want to do as long as it doesn’t affect me. Is this really the society that we want our kids to grow up in?  We all just go to work, earn our money, take our kids to Disneyworld, sleep with who we want in secret, drive the speed limit when a cop is around, maybe kick the dog when we get mad, cheat on our taxes a little, tweet some thoughts out to cyberspace, lie to our mom about why we can’t come home for Christmas, and celebrate when we get a bonus by buying a boat. We are mostly living a good life and our “bad choices” aren’t really affecting anyone. Is this really such an awesome way of life compared to Egypt, or Serbia? Maybe it is in the political spectrum or economically. I don’t know. I’m glad we’re not having riots and civil war for sure, but it actually makes me sad that we are living this way. I really believe that working for the “American Dream” and then turning on the news and watching us all hate on each other or being left with BAD relationships is not really a “dream.” I think it’s possible that some that aren’t focused on living the “dream” are actually happier???

I realize this is getting super long so here’s one last thought. Personally I believe we live in the best country on the planet. When we have a crisis we draw together…like 9/11 or the Boston marathon bombing. Recently when firefighters here in Houston were injured and killed, there were people giving blood and raising money for the families. I have seen strangers that are not even Christians return found wallets and give money on the street just because they are good people that want to do a good thing. I think MOST of us want to do the right thing and help out our fellow man. I think there is GOOD in all of us. Don’t even get me started on the debate about Christians being the “good people”. That’s not the GOSPEL. The reality is that we are a HURTING, lonely, lost, prideful people that want to fill the empty hole we feel every day with STUFF that can’t ever fill it. And this brings me back to the part about the EYE. We “covet” what we SEE every day. I got this line from the movie “Silence of the Lambs”…this is the BEST bad movie ever! The serial killer guy coveted what he couldn’t have and therefore it drove his bad behavior. He justified his bad behavior because the world had wronged him and maybe there was probably a little psychosis going on. Unfortunately I don’t think we are really much different. We justify our behavior because it’s “not as bad” as a serial killer or it’s not as bad as someone that we JUDGE as worse than ourselves. Let’s take a reality check. If I SEE the next car I want to drive and I focus on what I need to do to get that car, what would stop me from stealing it, or working two jobs and neglecting my kids so I can buy it? Is that really any different? If I am a lonely woman who’s husband travels a lot (and this is not me by the way :) and fill my loneliness with ice cream while WATCHING Channing Tatum in “Magic Mike”, am I really so satisfied that I will be “happy” with my husband when he gets home? Or vice versa and I'm the husband that travels a lot and WATCHES the adult channel in the hotel room. Will I be satisfied with my wife that I SEE isn't as skinny as she used to be after having the kids and eating ice cream while I'm gone? If I am an investment banker and I SEE a great deal of money every day, would it not be easy to dip into some of it a few cents here, a few cents there and no one will notice, and justify it because I work hard and deserve it? I’m not saying wanting a new car and working hard for it, or watching Channing Tatum, or eating ice cream, or working in investments is BAD. The point is, we ALL are going to WANT something and does any of this really bring us the “American Dream” in the end? And what happens when we finally achieve this “goal”…we turn our attention to the NEXT thing, that’s what. This is really a lie we tell ourselves because we are never going to be satisfied until we are focused on SEEKING and SERVING God. That’s it. That is God’s plan and His design when He created us. We will continue to debate what is “freedom” and “independence” and “right and wrong” and who is “entitled” to whatever for all eternity until we actually embrace the idea that GOD’S LOVE, His sovereignty, and His provision are the answers to all of our questions.

 

P – Lord God, my prayer today is that we would “seek and find” YOU! I pray for our country and all those that are trying to live the “American Dream” by working to get more money, find satisfaction in achievement, jumping on the political bandwagon, or fill the empty loneliness. Lift the veil of discontent and lies, Father, that we might find satisfaction and treasure in YOU.  And I pray this for myself and my family as well…that we would each know our purpose and that we would hear YOUR voice loud and clear above all others to know what it is that you desire for us to do each and every day. Lift the burden and temptation on each of us to feel that we have to do it on our own, or juggle it all, or even seek satisfaction in the world. The world in and of itself was not really designed to meet all of our needs and your plan for us is a perfect one. I pray that we would all embrace your design to be fulfilled in YOU and you alone. I pray that we would SEE you in all your glory in the world but not be swayed to become OF the world. I pray that our eyes would be opened to see what breaks your heart and that you would equip us to go and DO what you call us to do. My heart is full Lord for a desire to share how much you love us and I am thankful that you SEE us in our own little spot among so many of your children…you see EACH of us and love us no matter what we’ve done, providing all our needs. On this week of celebrating our freedom, I celebrate the FREEDOM I have to worship and follow you and the FREEDOM I have in Christ! WOW! What a gift to know that I will not ever be separated from you Lord. Thanks be to God!

Fearless Faith

This is my SOAP devotional for 5/3

S - Acts 7:59-60 (New living translation)
59 As they stoned him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60 He fell to his knees, shouting, “Lord, don’t charge them with this sin!” And with that, he died.

O - Stephen, in the midst of pain and dying, prays for his persecutors. We see the same compassion at Jesus' crucifixion as well. Stephen was bold not only in standing up for his faith but also in speaking up as well. This was basically the launching pad for the persecution and scattering of these new believers, as well as the expansion of the church. This was a tragic event with amazing consequences for the greater good. Stephen is an amazing example of acting in God's service regardless of the fear and obstacles you may face.

A - Oh that we all would be so bold. Not that we should face the same persecution, but that we would be that loyal and committed to what God calls us to do. For me, this is so personal in what we are doing RIGHT now in adopting "A". We are being obedient to what we believe God is asking of us, regardless of the fears we may be facing. Inviting a teenager with many life experiences to join our family is a huge step for all of us...it is in some ways scary but also EXCITING and an incredible honor and blessing that she is willing to trust us. I look forward to see how God is going to take the tragic events in "A's" life from her past and turn them into something amazing. What a blessing that we get to be a part of it!

P - In a word, Lord, I have fears! I KNOW that your word promises that fear does not come from you. I believe that you are bigger than any fear I might face. Help me to continue to put my faith ahead of the doubts and fears that I may see in my head. Keep the enemy far away from me, that I will embrace the confident faith that I already know is your spiritual gift to me. Oh Lord, how you love us and I thank you for the provision you have already shown in "A's" life and I thank you in advance for the work you will do to show your "purpose and plan" for her (Jer. 29:11) Amen.

Time to grow!

School has started and our two boys have some AWESOME teachers. Tom and I also have some great kids in our classes. I will still be teaching music only 2 1/2 days a week which gives me the time to work my CM business, volunteer at the kids' schools and serve at Faithbridge, our church home. In addition to his service on the TBA Board of Directors, Tom has an opportunity to be a clinician for the junior high bands at St. George's Prep School in Vancouver, BC for a week later in Sept. This is a GREAT opportunity for him!

Our 13 year old had a check up right before school started and has grown 4 inches and gained 35 pounds since this time last year! He is only 1 inch shorter than me now and his voice has dropped. He is even in need of a shave as he has a "mustache". It is hard to believe that he will be in high school in just one year...technically only about 160 days!! EEEK! How did this happen??? I don't think we even noticed all the changes that were happening the last 6 months until just a few weeks ago when I looked at him and all of a sudden he just looked like a different person!

Our younger son turned 9 in June and has been the same...his pants are too short continuously and he has been maturing in the area of "trying new things". He is our "picky" one and within the last couple months he has tried several new foods without complaining and even gone on the "Tornado" at Splashtown, which is HUGE for him! We are so proud!

Our oldest just received the honor of being named "Vice President" of the band and is first chair trumpet in the Symphonic Band. We are looking forward to watching him grow in his new leadership roles. Both boys are taking tennis lessons and we are playing more as a family, and they also enjoy video games and the History channel in their free time.

We also are still waiting to hear about the children that will come to be a part of our family through adoption...just waiting...not sure how long we will have to wait, but we are positive that God sees their faces and will bring them to us in the right time. It's possible that they are in the foster care system and just aren't available for adoption yet. We'll see. There is growth happening with us in our hearts as we pray for patience. God is good and faithful and is helping us to open our hearts and pray for ALL the children in the system...they need someone to lift them up, to find "forever families" that will come for them someday.

We went on a family vacation this summer to visit Tom's aunt and her family, and to see the New England states. What a great road trip it was! We enjoyed spending time with family so much and we also got to go whale watching off Cape Cod, walk the Freedom Trail in Boston, eat Lobster in Maine and check out family history. We added 13 new states to our goal of going to all 50 (we're up to 28 now!) and actually clocked 4734 miles on our minivan! WHEW! This trip was growth for us too because we hadn't ever done long driving days like that before...we weren't sure if it would be too much. We drove over 800 miles in one day, 4 times, but not all in a row...the most we had ever done before was going from Amarillo to Houston and that is over 500, so this was a big leap for us. Tom and I DID IT and we are glad we were able to have more time for the actual vacation instead of spending more days driving.

So all this has me thinking about something...our pastor, Ken Werlein, has spoken several times before about one of his seminary professors teaching the concept of "no, slow, grow, go" when looking for answers to prayer. I have at times, since the first time I heard him share that, looked back at when I had been praying about something and realized now in hindsight I could see what God had answered...no, slow, grow or go. I have found that I OFTEN have been told GROW when I have had to face patience and waiting on a decision...much like we are doing now. The growth that has taken place in my life during these times is indescribable. Had I not waited, or had I taken matters into my own hands, things would probably be messed up.

And what a joy it really is to be in the care of the Lord and to know that He has a bigger, better, and ROCK-OUT plan to love us and help us be the best people we can be...a plan that we couldn't imagine on our own. We read about it in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I also believe that where we are right now is a "slow" period...we do not want to rush the adoption process. We have friends that have had issues with their adoption, and not that it was a mistake, but perhaps they moved too quickly and didn't give it enough time. We want to be absolutely sure we are moving as God directs as HE really sees the big picture and knows what is best for us. We could look at the frustration that we feel sometimes with the lack of communication in this adoption process and be annoyed with the waiting, but we are limited in how far ahead we can see and how much we can control and so we are glad to be patient for the child or children that are supposed to be a part of our family...we do not want the wrong child for us and want it to happen in God's time. What a RELIEF it is to know that God is working in our favor and we don't have to worry about how it will work out!

One other thing of note: recently we had a dear college friend die of a heart attack at 45. We just found out about a former student of Tom's that has breast cancer at 25. And we have 2 church acquaintances that are facing major health issues in their 30s and early 40s. These concerns combined have reminded me yet again that life is precious and we are here but for a short time. What I KNOW and what I BELIEVE is that we are here to do something great, something of worth to impact the lives of others each and every day, in response to the GIFT that Jesus gave us through salvation. Nothing else matters more than loving our families and friends with a real love, a love that can only come from knowing the One True God. We love because He first loved us...and so each day I ask, "What can I do TODAY to add meaning to the life of someone else?" I hope each of you that take the time to read this are inspired to do the same for your loved ones and even those that are hard to love...the positive investment you make in your closest relationships DOES MATTER.

I am working on a "Faithbook" called "10 Fingerprints of God"...it's really about 10 ways I have seen God at work in my life in my first 40 years. I am excited to see the end result because I know the process itself will show me God's grace and goodness. Thank you to each of YOU that read this blog for the impact you have made in my life! Make it great!