Love and PRAY for your enemies

It's been over a month since my last entry. In case you hadn't read it, I have decided to cut back on blogging in order to make my own devotional time, as well as family commitments, the first priority. I do plan to share some thoughts periodically and so today I really wanted to share what God has been teaching me about loving my enemies.

S - Matthew 5:43-48
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[i] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

I have been feeling some persecution lately. I am facing some challenges in my job as a teacher and I often feel unappreciated and persecuted. Also, I face ongoing struggles (along with my husband) as we go through the process of adopting our daughter and helping her fit into our family. There is not only a lot that she has to learn coming into our family later in life as a teen, but also to overcome the obstacles that ANY teenager would face. There are always the challenges of giving enough time to your family and with busy kids, there is a lot of driving and running from here to there. It is VERY easy to feel unappreciated and persecuted at home.

In addition, last Monday, I had a little fender bender. It was like the icing on an already thick "martyr cake"...just something else to add to my pity party. It was early in the morning and I had just dropped my son off at school when a man, Bernie, pulled out in front of me without much warning and I didn't have enough time to stop. It scraped up both our cars pretty good. Well, interestingly he had insurance but had a suspended license and ended up getting arrested. Initially after the accident happened, I wanted to be mad at the inconvenience. I was annoyed that this guy, although very compliant and apologetic, seemed kind of "lackadaisical" about the incident and going to jail, almost like he was just accepting of his bad lot in life. While we were waiting for the police to arrive, he revealed that he was probably going to get arrested because he has been in and out of shelters, that he doesn't have a valid license, that he is trying to get his life together, that he's on disability and doesn't have the money to pay for the fees to renew his license, that he shouldn't have been going to get cigarettes, nor should he have been driving, etc. He was going on and on with this sob story and honestly I'm thinking, "GREAT! God, why did it have to be this guy! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! Now I have to feel sorry for him, I'm probably going to have to claim this on my own insurance AND it's going to cost me more money, just because this guy doesn't have his life together AND he went out to get cigarettes! Are you kidding me???? I don't have any more compassion to give!" And yet I'm also feeling sorry for the guy thinking, "God wants me to be compassionate and supportive and be HIS hands and feet. I need to show Bernie that God is still watching out for him and hasn't forgotten him." So even though I didn't want to, I was nice, understanding and compassionate...I listened to his sob story attentively. I tried to be a friend with my words and actions. I told the officer that he was compliant and polite, even though he said it didn't matter. I knew that was how God would have wanted me to handle it. I told Bernie when I left that I would be praying for him. I probably should have even given Bernie money, if I'd had any on me to give...that would have been even more generous. Yes, I was a little proud of myself and left gloating, just a little.

I later got mad at Bernie again, realizing that it was going to cost me a few massage therapy visits for my neck and back, as well as a $250 deductible to get my car repaired with uninsured motorist. And then I thought of this verse in Matthew. A lot of things went wrong the day I had the accident and it felt like I was surrounded by enemies. I decided to stop and pray for Bernie simply because God's word says I should and I wanted it to bring me peace in EVERY area of my life. I thought, "you know, maybe if I pray for him, he will one day be able to pay it forward." So I did. I prayed that Bernie would be blessed and that he would have the means to either repay my expenses, even though they were small, or perhaps get his life together and do something great for someone else. I decided in my heart that I wanted GOOD things for Bernie. I prayed sincerely for Bernie to KNOW God and His blessings.

And what do you know! I'm not saying that God always sends monetary blessings when you pray for your enemies, but the NEXT DAY, after I had already been dealing with my own insurance company, Bernie's insurance company called me and claimed full liability. They said that there was no need to wait for the police report because Bernie had confessed to wrong doing AND they were not only paying for my car repairs and rental, but were giving me additional compensation for massage therapy and for my "trouble". (side note: my husband says this is "hush" money so I won't sue but I still believe in God's provision any way He can!) I am so thankful that it was not a serious accident and if anything, I got the privilege to pray for Bernie. I don't know what he's up to 2 weeks after this has happened, but I believe that God is blessing him in some way. He could have lied. He could have argued and caused trouble. He could have driven away. He could have done lots of things that would have made this situation difficult, but he didn't. He was cooperative and claimed responsibility. I prayed for blessings for Bernie. I don't want a pat on the back for that but I am really excited that I did what God asked of me and He came back with blessings TRIPLE fold. It was enough money to buy my daughter a special custom doll and pay for a trip to get it from a store 4 hours away, that we didn't really have the money for. This was a BONUS I was able to provide as an added blessing for her, simply because God allowed me the means to do it.

What I saw as inconvenient and a literal pain in my neck, became a way for me to bless my daughter and THAT is why we pray for our enemies. Praying for Bernie reminded me that my little pity party, as stressful as it may genuinely be, is NOTHING at the hand of God. God can turn something around from bad to good with one breath, with one finger, or with a spoken word. God wants to bless all of us and He wants us to rely on Him for ALL things! God wants ALL of us to return to his protection and circle of fellowship. There are those that need us to pray for them, for if we do not stand in the gap to draw them to the Lord, who will?

It also says in 2 Corinthians 4:3-4
3 And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

If we are not praying for the lost then they will continue to remain blinded by the enemies schemes...they cannot see who God really is unless we pray for the veil of unbelief to be lifted. This includes those that believe and perhaps have not seen God at work in their life because they just need a hand up to get on the right track. Knock and the door will be opened. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. Do we believe this and let it be known, or do we wallow in our self-pity?

If you're reading Bernie, God is faithful. He will never leave you or forsake you. And you have a friend. Thank you for YOUR faithfulness to God Bernie in taking responsibility for your actions and I KNOW God is going to reward you for it.

Maintaining Priorities

I have been praying about how I can be a good steward of my time and stay in line with my priorities, which are really God's priorities for my life. It is becoming a repeated message that I need to stay diligent in "saying no to the good so I can say YES to the best". I struggle with saying no when there are so many things, including GOOD things that I want to do, not just for my own self-fulfillment but also to do what I believe is God's work. I LOVE variety and trying different things and I enjoy being "busy" because this helps to keep me actually more focused and motivated than when I have extra time on my hands. There is a healthy balance I must maintain as well, of scheduling everything I'm doing and being overly scheduled. The last 2 weeks have shown me that when I get out of balance, I become a good steward of NOTHING!

I was reminded in my scripture reading this morning from Genesis 2:2-3 that God rested after creating everything and that this was not just about taking a physical break from work, but about having time for actual mental rest as well. I find it so interesting that God ALWAYS gives me the right scripture when there is something that I need to work on! Hmmmm...how does He do that? Maybe I should listen more often??

During our mental rest is when we can hear God's voice. Sometimes I think we think we have to fill this time with talking to God because we feel guilty that we don't do that enough. But have you ever thought about how you HEAR from God? I think about it all the time and yet I struggle so much with having QUIET time...especially in my house with 2 teens, a 5th grade boy, a busy husband, and 3 dogs, some fish and a lizard. Now the fish and lizard don't really make any noise so they are off the hook. But we have a busy household and I recently moved my "office" back into the corner of my bedroom so that I can remove myself at times from the activity of the house at any time and not just early in the morning or late at night. I can go away when needed and close the door. It doesn't always cut out all the noise but it does help me to focus on what I need to focus on which is not just quiet time, but doing my other work in a timely manner so that I CAN make time for my quiet time at other times of the day.

And I absolutely LOVE hearing from God. When He speaks to me, it is not auditory, it is like it is coming from deep within. It is like what John Wesley spoke of when talking about being "strangely warm"...like a peace comes over me and I KNOW without a doubt that it is God. Other times I hear "voices" (um, yeah, I do, but no I'm not crazy!) and I am unsure who's voice it is and therefore I know that this is of the world, or of my own agenda, or of Satan, the enemy. When I am not sure, this just means I need more time in the quiet asking God to reveal His voice to me that I might hear Him LOUD AND CLEAR!

With all that said, I am evaluating which activities God wants for me to make priority and I have made the decision, (even though I am disappointed about it) that I must put my blog writing aside. The original purpose was to inspire others to read the Bible and to share some of the insights that I am gaining from my own reading. I cannot focus both on doing my OWN SOAP devotionals, AND all the other things I am doing, AND make my family priority, while continuing to make updating this blog a priority. It is something I love and if I am honest it is something I really do for myself and my own fulfillment. I love when I get feedback about how something I have written has blessed someone, but I can't really justify making it priority when only a few people are reading it and my focus is on how the feedback fulfills ME. I think I will maintain it periodically as the Lord prompts me to have something to share from my own SOAP devotionals, but my priorities must be maintained and here are just some of the other activities that I will continue to be doing instead:

Global Media Outreach online missionary - answer emails with those that are searching for God and a how to have a relationship with the Christ; in addition, I will be providing support as a community leader to other missionaries as they do the same.

Small group bible study leader for 11th grade girls at my church - this includes preparing my weekly lesson, maintaining administrative activities, praying for my girls, communicating with my Co-leader, texting and facebooking my girls to keep up with their lives and keep them informed, and meeting with my group weekly.

Moms In Touch prayer leader - prepare weekly prayer sheet, communicating with other moms, and meet to pray for our kids and school; periodically do "words and deeds" for our school to let them know we are praying

Ministry consultant - provide my services to small churches to help them firm up a foundation in areas of ministry where they might struggle (children's, youth, adult, women's ministry, etc.) primarily serving as an outside resource to provide prayer, guidance, and training for lay and paid staff within the church

This is in addition to my regular job as a part-time music teacher, running my CM business, maintaining my kid's schedules, helping them with homework, and all the other things I do as a wife and mom...the list is long, but very much a priority. And I am having to cut out a few other things in my life as well...I am keeping a "Doing and eating" journal this week to evaluate where I am spending my time and what I am eating (another area that I am working on :)

So it is with sadness that I will not say "good-bye" but "see you later" until a time when God says it is time to pick it up again.
Be Blessed!