New Year's Resolutions: The Power of Keeping Our Word

Happy New Year!

Anyone out there make a new year's resolution or two? Anyone already "fall off the wagon" on the 3rd day? Yep.it happens.

Essentially, a "resolution" is making a promise to ourselves to give something up, or do something better. Perhaps it is a promise to someone else as well. Consider the power of keeping your word...do you truly intend to keep your resolution as you would a promise? or is it simply an effort to make others happy, show good intentions, or pretend to be someone we are not? Hmmm...what does scripture say?

S - Matthew 5: 33-37

33 “Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.’ 34 But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36 And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37 All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."

O - We are called to keep our word. Our word should be taken as truth and a promise, without having to say "I promise." I believe scripture is saying we do not have control, therefore we can not determine what is going to happen. Therefore, we can only say "yes" or "no" to what we will or won't do. And then we should do what we say we're going to do.

A - I have to admit this is a pet peeve of mine...people saying they will do something and then they don't do it. Being in education, I really dislike watching parents make empty promises to their children, or allow them to give up on their commitments. Many people think nothing of saying one thing to make someone happy, and have no intention of doing it. I believe what is at the root of this problem is really fear of disappointment, and lack of commitment. We want to be liked, popular, and make others happy. We make promises to ourselves as well, and don't keep them.

A very serious vow and more dramatic example that is not always taken seriously today is marriage. I think one scenario is a person that WANTS desperately to be "married" and likes the idea of it so they "settle" in a relationship longer than they should, and then they don't know how to get out by the time they realize they aren't really as emotionally committed as they should be. They fear disappointing the other person and they probably care about that person and have good intentions but should they get married? maybe not. Some have good intentions but when it gets hard, they want to take the "easy" route and find other ways to find happiness, or get a new "exciting" relationship. To give a few some credit, I know there are some that go into it with good intentions, but then don't realize how hard it will be and BAM...they think that finding someone new will make it easier.

Another very basic example is one that I have been guilty of is over-committing. I agree to do something because it sounds fun or they "need" me. I have at various times in my life been afraid to disappoint someone when they asked me to do something, so I said yes when I really wasn't able to do it and should have said no.

I think in a lot of ways New Year's Resolutions are the same. We have good intentions. We want to be healthier so we start a new diet, or exercise plan. Some will give up smoking, or diet coke, or cuss less. Some will take up reading the Bible more or going to church. All of these are definitely worth trying and making the effort. We honestly shouldn't be so hard on ourselves when we don't stick to our new habits after 3 days...after all, we are human and it's HARD!

Perhaps consider this: when you make your New Year's Resolutions this year, think of it as making a promise to yourself and visualize what it means to NOT let yourself down. I personally am vowing to get more sleep and exercise more, which really, if I'm honest with myself, the root of the problem involves managing my time better...and I'm going to start on Monday :)

Tell your spouse or a friend that you are vowing to keep your word this year and then make the choice to do it. Every time you reach for the donuts, or a cigarette, or in my case, doing ONE more thing before I go to bed, visualize breaking a promise to someone important to you...your kids, your best friend, or Jesus himself. I know it sounds harsh but we should really take this more seriously and then we will keep our promises. And we are worth it! You deserve to keep a promise to yourself just as much as your spouse expects you to keep your marriage vows. Let's stop saying we are going to do something and not really mean it. Together, let's make decisions that are important and do what we say we are going to do. Again, if we mess up, we jump right back in. We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13).

P - My simple prayer Lord is that we would have the strength and the courage to do what YOU are calling us to do and then to keep our word when we say we are going to do it. May our sacrifice, our obedience, and our word be cheerful and given willingly (2 Cor. 9:7) and not out of obligation. All this is possible through our friendship with you, for you are the one that knows us best and can see ahead to our struggles, providing a way out when we open our eyes to follow your plan. And best of all we thank you for your unconditional love when we mess up and your forgiveness when we ask for it. Amen.

The Gifts in my Pocket

I have been teaching on Spiritual Gifts for many years. Recently I taught a three part lesson on this topic to my bible study group and God gave me a wonderful, fresh new take on this subject. After all these years of teaching and studying Spiritual Gifts, I have finally found a way to visually help us grasp ahold of where to focus and place our priorities when following hard after the Lord and using our gifts. I hope it is as helpful to you as it has been for me.

First let's look at some scripture:

S - Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. - 1 Peter 4:10

For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ⁶ We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.  Romans 12:4

O - If you have studied anything about Spiritual Gifts, you know that these are not "talents" or "hobbies" or interests. The scripture says that Spiritual Gifts are used for serving others and to share God's grace. But this doesn't just mean go out and feed the homeless or help build a house for a veteran. Serving in some capacity to help others is what we are ALL called to do, YES. Using your Spiritual Gifts is more than that and goes a step beyond.

At the point of salvation, when you accept Christ, you are acknowledging that you have messed up, that you cannot do life on your own, that you cannot save yourself, that you recognize that Jesus gave His life for yours and the debt has been paid. When you accept THIS gift, the greatest of ALL gifts, then the Holy Spirit enters the picture and indwells with you for all eternity as you live your life on earth. Our ONLY purpose is truly to serve the Lord as a response to what we have been given. It does not come from a place of obligation but of GRATITUDE for the life you have been given. (2 Cor. 9:6-8) It is up to us, with God's help, to direct others in His direction. Our Spiritual Gifts are the "tools" that we have been given to do that. To commune with and serve the Lord God Almighty is what we were created for so let's not waste it.

Does this mean it could be while you are working at your vocation or hobby? Yes. Does this mean if you are a student you could be using them while going to school and working some hourly wage job? Yes. Does this mean you could use your gifts while being a stay home mom, raising kids and volunteering? ABSOLUTELY. It says we use them as faithful stewards. So whatever we have been given, we need to be wise in how we use it, relying on HIS guidance and direction.

As faithful stewards, that means that if we are the "toe" in the body of Christ, and we try to act like the "elbow" then we will continually fail at what we are trying to accomplish and be frustrated, disappointed, and unfulfilled. We will go through life continuing to search for our purpose and our "calling". Not necessarily right away, but maybe after a time. So if you have taken some time to discover and be prayerful about your Spiritual Gifts, but aren't feeling fulfilled, chances are you are not using them in the right area. The scripture says we make "one body" and if the "toe" is not working right, the body of Christ could be limping a little :) Sometimes this just means you are working with kids when you should be working with adults. Or maybe you are working with the wrong people/personalities. There are many reasons why you could feel things are not working right so instead of praying about a specific request, maybe it's time to ask God to show you and be open to listening for His direction.

God in His infinite wisdom, in reality, will find a way to accomplish His purposes for He will use those that are making themselves available for His service. Sometimes certain parts of the body may feel as if they have been amputated. It is time to see a surgeon to get re-attached and the great surgeon of course is Christ! After all, it says that we belong to all the others and just because we may feel lost or disconnected does not mean that we stop "belonging". We can be reconnected!!! Glory to God!!! Unlike a toe that has been frostbitten, that may be cut off, God restores in every way when we rely on Him. NOTHING is impossible for God!

A - So how does this apply to YOU? Ask yourself these questions:
1. Do I know my top 4-5 Spiritual Gifts?
2. Am I using them?
3. Am I fulfilled while using them?
If you do know them, GREAT! Let's put them to work. If you haven't put them to work yet, consider what gets your heart racing and look for how you can use your Spiritual Gifts in that area. If you are putting them to work but feel like you're going 90 miles an hour, maybe it's time to take a step back.

That's what happened for me 7 years ago and now I can say that I have found a way to say "no" and not feel guilty (I am someone that likes to say YES). Here's what I do...I discovered all of my spiritual gifts and ranked them in order. There are about 4 that are at the top of my list, then another small cluster, and then the bottom group. I divided this up based on looking at the scores of the assessment and finding the natural break in numbers...looking at which ones were closest together. Gifts are never used alone but always with another gift and sometimes, you use one of your top gifts in combination with a secondary gift so it's important to look at both of these categories.

Here is a visual that God gave to me one day that I find helpful in focusing on what I say yes to and what I need to say no to:
Your bottom group of gifts, those go in your back pocket. You do not usually notice what is there in your back pocket until you need what's in there. So leave those alone...don't look at them, think about them or give them any of your attention. Out of sight, out of mind. These are probably not really your gifts...they are low numbers for you but are usually things that we are ALL called to in service. If Hospitality is in your back pocket for example, like it is for me, then the only time you pull it out is when a need arises - I only use this gift a few times a year when they need people to serve hotdogs at our church's Fall Festival, a community outreach, or on Christmas Eve when they need someone to serve cookies. I don't need to feel guilty that I am not on the meals team, making and bringing meals to people all the time. Yes, I need to help when a friend is in need because this is what is asked of ALL of us, but this is not a gift that I should be giving all my time and attention to on a regular basis. I should not be volunteering to be a coordinator for something in hospitality, like a serve team or for a big event. That's just me. Think about what this might be for you.
Your middle group of gifts, those go in your front pants pocket. You can slip your hand in there and pull them out as needed. They are easily accessible and ready to use in partnership with your top group...kind of like a "side kick" in a super hero movie. In my middle group is Intercessory Prayer and I pull it out in partnership often with my top gifts of Encouragement, Faith, or Teaching. It is in complement to where God desires for me to give my main focus, so I pray with friends and those in my bible study group as requested. I do serve on the Altar Prayer Team monthly but other than that I am not called to be a major part of the prayer ministry. Think about what this might be for you.
Your top group of gifts go in your shirt pocket...you know that little pocket you might put a pen in close to your heart? These are the gifts you keep close to your heart and are indicators of where you should be spending your time. I pull these out weekly if not daily. I volunteer for things where I can use my gifts of Teaching and Faith primarily as a small group and discipleship leader on a regular basis. If it is not a ministry where I will be using my primary gifts weekly, I say no to committing to that ministry. I am not always perfect at that and I have had to sometimes bail on commitments I've made for various reasons but this generally works for me as a guide for where to serve. Think about what this might be for you.

There is no substitute for prayer. You cannot make decisions on how to use your Spiritual Gifts without prayer...you just can't. Oh you will try. You will say yes to things because they sound fun, or someone "needs" you, or your friends are doing it, or maybe you don't know your gifts yet so you're trying things out. That's ok. But if you aren't praying about what GOD wants you to do, even if it's a GOOD thing, then chances are great that you will end up either burned out, having to get out of your commitment, or delaying the blessings that God has in store for you. God WILL bless you when you are serving in the right area. I'm not talking about monetary blessings...I'm talking spiritual blessings. When you are within HIS will, it always works out...even if it's challenging or patience is required. It ALWAYS works out in HIS time when we are seeking Him. That's a promise I can make.

If you would like to take a Spiritual Gifts assessment, here is one that I have used that is easy to take and is an easy starting point. There are others out there and God may build up in you a stagnant gift for a time so be open to retaking an assessment again to continually rediscover how God is going to use you at different stages in life.
Spiritual Gifts Assessment

Finally, I think a discussion on Spiritual Gifts is very relevant at this time of year, when we are shopping and gift giving and making our wish lists. Let us all remember the greatest gift is Jesus and the gifts that we receive from the Holy Spirit, in our Spiritual Gifts, are to be used and not wasted. Don't let fear or other obstacles get in the way of what God is calling you to do. Don't wait another day to BLESS someone and help them know the living Lord by using YOUR gifts.

P - My prayer today is for all those that know you to be encouraged to seek out a knowledge of their Spiritual Gifts and to be strengthened to use them. Help all of us Lord to be courageous, even when it's hard, to follow YOUR will and to be in prayer continually about what that means in our own lives. Open our ears to hear. May we be slow to speak and quick to listen. May we have the courage to say no to good things when it means we can say YES to the best things. I thank you Lord for your word that equips us and empowers us to know you more. And I thank you for your son Jesus who is the ultimate gift...may we always be grateful with our purposeful service. Amen.